TW ableist language, discussion of bigotry

When someone uses the term ‘transphobia,’ my little disabled nonbinary heart sinks. I know they mean well, but the unseen ableism in their sentences immediately makes me realize I’m not safe.

Let’s unpack that.

Phobia means fear. More specifically, a phobia is an anxiety condition.

Arachnophobia, for example, is a horrible fear of spiders. If someone has this phobia, they experience incredible fear. They might scream, cry, sweat, have a racing heartbeat, and more. Like with PTSD, this is a physiological reaction.

Unfortunately, many people equate bigoted remarks like hatred of trans people to these terrible and debilitating fears.

They are, in no way, related.

The word xenophobic – which is constantly used for those who prefer isolationist and white supremacist policies – is an actual real phobia. People with xenophobia have a terrible fear of strangers. That word isn’t inherently a sign of bigotry.

Using these terms as though they’re the same is not only rude as fuck but ableist. It belittles the fear people with phobias deal with as well as the lengths they try to go to in order to protect themselves.

People say that phobia has many meanings. While it’s true that it’s used differently in biology, for example, than towards humans, there is still harm in using phobia. Like with many ableist phrases and words, it builds on the harm caused to us over millennia of ableism.

But what else can we use?

Before we get into this, there are a few things to acknowledge. I recognize that there is a certain amount of privilege in learning these different terms. I am someone who is in a position to share this information with those who may not hear it otherwise.

What many people mean to say when they say transphobic is someone who hates trans people. So, let’s say that.

The suffix misia/misic is a great stand-in for phobia/phobic. It literally means hate.

Anti-X or ___antagonistic are great alternatives. They truly showcase someone’s sentiments because, in reality, these aren’t usually built on fear. They’re built in pseudo-patriotism, hatred, and religious bigotry.

I’m not the only disabled person fighting for this.

There’s a great quote in an Everyday Feminism piece on this topic from a few years ago: “The use of ‘-phobia’ as a suffix erodes the dictionary meaning of the word, but more importantly, it is one tool that helps society forget that phobias are real phenomena that affect real people every day, some of whom, like myself and my friends, are queer and trans.”

Let’s actively make the decision to be more linguistically precise as we choose less ableist and oppressive language.