Coming Out to My Healthcare Providers, Part 1: The GP’s Office

photo of pride rainbow colored construction paper in the background with a black transparent text box and white text: " Coming Out to My Healthcare Providers, Part 1: The GP's Office " and " Chronic Sex "

Today – actually, literally right as this gets posted – I’ll be getting an IUD placed. You’re probably wondering how I got here.

The hubs and I have known for a while that we didn’t want kids.  I’ve known this for a long time. Despite knowing this, my GP had expressed concerns over making any large decisions about my reproductive system.

Fast forward a year and a half later, and my migraines are running rampant. I know that taking estrogen every single day – as a part of taking continuous birth control – isn’t helping. I also know regularly having periods is not an option for me. My arthritic hands don’t handle them well. My pain levels go through the roof. It’s not a good thing.

Cue finally making an appointment with my GP’s PA to talk about other options.

Hubs had the day off so I brought him with because, sometimes, it helps me feel braver. It’s really easy for me to drop things and lose my resolve sometimes.

I knew that I would likely need to come out about my genderfluidity.

Yes, that’s right, me – a patient activist and sex toy tester – had not come out to them yet. I haven’t come out to any HCP about any of my identities, aside from being a sex educator. They have a lot to catch up on.

Instead of trying to hide it as I might have in the past, I was upfront. I said, in different words, that “I’m genderfluid and struggle with dysphoria. While I want to limit my migraine potential – and dysphoria – by removing extra estrogen, I also don’t want children.”

While the MA didn’t seem to necessarily enjoy hearing about me coming out, I’m grateful that the PA did. She happened to be wearing a Pride-colored Staff of Asclepius on her coat, which I didn’t notice until about halfway through the appointment.

In the end, we decided that the best options were either to get a hysterectomy or an IUD. Since we can treat the IUD as a stepping stone – because I can always have them steal my uterus later – it just made sense to try that first. I’m getting Liletta which is similar to Mirena.

As things move along, my goal will be to go through the coming out process each of my identities to each of my HCPs. They need that information to be able to treat me most effectively. I recognize the privilege I have to be able to go through the coming out process… but also recognize the fear and stigma that kept me quiet for so long. Hopefully, by documenting both getting an IUD and coming out, I can help erase some of those barriers for others.

I really hope I’m able to be brave during this appointment and let them know about recent decisions around nonmonogamy, too.