Gender is a complicated topic. People who aren’t familiar with the history of gender aren’t usually aware of how many genders have existed throughout history in a variety of cultures. Instead, they claim things like only two genders exist or that trans people are inherently misogynistic.

Anyone who is anything other than men and women get side-eyes and judgment over acceptance and conversation. People don’t understand what it’s like to be non-binary or why we might use other pronouns.

First, some terms

A couple of terms that will be important to understanding gender overall:

AFAB: Assigned female at birth.

AMAB: Assigned male at birth.

Femme: This can be a short-hand for feminine. Femmes usually have a more feminine gender expression. A person of any gender can be femme.

Intersex: Someone who was born with a combination of male and female anatomy and/or chromosomes. The antonym for intersex is Dyadic: Someone who is not intersex.

Masc: This can be a short-hand for masculine or someone who has a more masculine gender expression. A person of any gender can be masc.

This is not to be confused with mask, which everyone should be wearing in the year of our lord 2020.

Gender expression: how someone expresses or performs their gender; includes hairstyle, clothing, and accessories.

 

Gender Terms

Agender or gender neutrois: Does not have a gender.

Androgynous: Appearing gender neutral.

Aporagender: A strong gender identity that is neither male nor female.

Bigender: Encompassing male and female gender identities. Ambigender is a similar term.

Butch: A more masculine gender expression from someone who is AFAB.

Cisgender: Someone who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Demigender: Non-binary but feeling that one is partly a certain gender.

Demiboy: Feeling partially like a boy.

Demigirl: Feeling partially like a girl.

Genderfluid: Someone who does not have a fixed gender, but feels as though their gender is a range.

Gender neutral: Someone who doesn’t feel as though they’re one gender or another. This can be a term applied to items as well, such as gender-neutral bathrooms, etc.

Gender non-conforming (GNC): Someone who doesn’t conform to societal gender ideas or the gender binary.

Genderqueer: Someone who is GNC and defies gender norms by identifying as no gender, bigender, or some combination or a variety of genders.

Intergender: An intersex-specific gender identity denoting a combination of masc/femme gender identities similar to genderqueer or androgynous.

Metrosexual: A cisgender man who pays more attention to his appearance. This term peaked in the early 2000’s and is now rarely used due to a growing understanding of various genders and gender roles.

Non-binary: Someone who does not fit into the gender binary.

Pangender: Being more than one gender, or being all genders.

What about transgender people?

Some people who aren’t cisgender feel comfortable using the label transgender. Not everyone does. That means that someone who is non-binary may not want to use trans terms for themselves. Please respect that.

Here are more trans-specific terms:

• Transgender: Someone who was assigned a certain gender at birth but is not that gender; literally just the opposite of cisgender
  • Trans man: Someone who was assigned female at birth and is a man. This does not require any HRT or surgery. Additional terms include trans masc or FTM (female-to-male).
  • Trans woman: Someone who was assigned male at birth and is a woman. This does not require any HRT or surgery. Additional terms include trans femme or MTF (male-to-female).
• Transitioning: The process of matching one’s body to one’s gender. The gender affirming process is often a long and difficult one. It is important to keep in mind that not everyone can or wants to undergo any or all of these steps.
  • Gender-affirming hormone treatment (HRT): Hormones are started to help the development of desired gender traits. This can include estrogen, antiandrogens, progesterone, testosterone, androgens, antiestrogens, and more.
  • Surgeries
    • Top surgery: Surgery to alter a person’s chest. Depending on the person’s gender, this can be breast augmentation, breast reduction, or a bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction.
    • Bottom surgery: There are a variety of surgeries that may be needed for bottom surgery. Patients may need a hysterectomy, bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, vaginectomy, penectomy, and/or orchiectomy. A vaginoplasty creates a vagina and vulva from the patient’s penis and surrounding material. Surgeries that aid in the creation of a penis can include scrotoplasty, metoidioplasty, and phalloplasty.
    • Additional surgery: Surgery can be had to assist with the following: facial feminization, vocal feminization, tracheal shave, and buttock augmentation.

Additional terms

• Cishet: Cisgender and heterosexual.
• Cisheterosexism: The societal favoring of cisgender and heterosexual people.
• Cissexism: The societal favoring of cisgender people.
• Drag: People of one gender who dress up as another gender for performances.
• Genderism: A belief in the gender binary or that there are only two genders.
• Mx (mix): A gender-neutral replacement for Miss/Ms., Mister/Mr., or Misses/Mrs.
• Stealth: Someone who is trans but not ‘out’ about their gender.
• Transmisia: Bigotry or discrimination against transgender people.

Avoid these terms

(unless you’re personally reclaiming a slur or someone you know is and has okayed these terms to be used in reference to them)

• Preferred pronouns: Pronouns aren’t preferred or optional. They’re required in respectful relationships.
• Sodomite, deviant, diseased, perverted: These terms have been used to ‘other’ people under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for ages.
• Transgendered: Transgender is a noun, not a verb. The correct term would be someone who is transgender.
• Transgenders: This removes someone’s humanity. The correct term here would be transgender (or trans) people.
• A transgender: This removes someone’s humanity. Use a transgender (or trans) person.
• Tranny/trannie: A shortened form of transgender, generally used as a slur.
• Transsexual: This is an outdated term for trans people.
• Transvestite: An outdated term for a cross-dresser.
• Sex change or pre-op/post-op: These phrases place the focus on the state of a person’s genitals, not their gender.
• She-male, he-she, it: These phrases remove a person’s humanity.
• Passing: Someone whose gender expression matches assumptions about what people of their gender look like. This is usually used to refer to someone who is transgender but can ‘pass’ as cisgender. Because of the harm of a focus on passing, this is not a favored term in non-cisgender circles.
• Fooling/pretending/trap: This is often used when someone feels as though they’ve been fooled by someone of another gender (generally a transgender person). There are those whose transmisia runs deep enough that they believe trans people try to fool or trick them into relationships. No person pretends to be another gender for those reasons.
• Non-females: This term is othering to trans and gender-expansive people. Additionally, female is a term for sex not gender. It should never be used, especially in spaces focused on equity.

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