TW sexual violence, dissociation, trauma

The current news cycle is taking a toll on a lot of us.

It’s hard to exist in our world right now. Everything in the news is triggering, and the people who don’t use trigger warnings or content notes are the bane of my existence. It feels people have little empathy for survivors, regardless of their own survivorship. When we feel like we constantly have to be ‘on’ to not miss action items, it doesn’t help.

Unfortunately, that’s what the past two years have been.

It is not sustainable to exist in today’s world without taking time for self-care. Self-care isn’t getting your nails done or going to the gym. It can be those things as self-care is different for everyone. At its core, though, self-care is about making sure that you are taking steps to love and protect yourself as you move throughout this world.

And we need that right now more than ever.

So, grab a seat and let’s work through some actionable items, shall we?

When was the last time you sipped a beverage?

If it’s been about an hour, it’s time to drink some water or another non-alcoholic beverage. Fill up a cup the next time you’re up.

When was the last time you ate?

If you haven’t given your body fuel in the last four hours, it’s time to snag a snack.

Are you taking any medication you have as prescribed?

It can be difficult to remember to take medication during rough times. Try setting an alarm on your phone or using the Aloe Bud app to set up reminders.

Have you showered this week?

If you don’t have the energy for it, that’s okay! Dry shampoo and a damp washcloth can help you feel cleaner. Take a minute to feel refreshed.

Are you still wearing the same pair of underwear as yesterday?

Sometimes changing clothes can be difficult. If you wear the same pair of underwear too long, though, you can increase your chances of getting a UTI or yeast infection.

Do you need something soothing right now?

Take a minute to find your favorite blanket, sniff a pumpkin candle, or call your best friend. These are all great things to have in an emergency self-care kit.

Do you feel like you’re truly in your body right now?

If you don’t, it might be time to look at doing some grounding exercises. There are some great starter ones here.

Are you holding back feelings?

If you are, know that those can have an effect on how you’re feeling both mentally and physically. Stress can increase chronic pain, and feels can up your stress levels. Consider doing something creative, like painting, or talking with someone you trust.

You can even process feelings on your own. I really like Kate Kenfield’s Tea and Empathy cards for this. The set is a great way to check in with yourself on how you’re truly doing. The best part? No one has to see them unless you want them to.

If you’re not ready to process feels? That’s okay, too.

Are you being triggered by social media?

If so, there are steps you can take. You can unfollow people who don’t use trigger warnings or content notes. You can even mute key words using Sadblock, adjusting your Twitter settings, or use blocking programs on other sites like Tumblr. Email providers may also allow you to send emails with certain terms straight into spam, trash, or another folder.

Rest for Resistance has some great tips, too.

Are you dissociating?

It can be really hard to tell if media is triggering a trauma response. Sometimes, we go into a mode called dissociation. This is meant to protect us but, in reality, is harmful once we’re out of an immediately threatening situation. It can lead to lost time and having conversations with people you don’t remember having. This can feel like spacing out, but can also be hard to realize in the moment.

There are steps that loved ones around us can take to help us when we’re in a dissociative mode. Consider sharing these with a trusted person.

Do you know what steps to take to best care for yourself?

If not, check out this page from the University at Buffalo School of Social Work.

I know that it might feel like we’re being selfish to practice self-care. That’s far from the truth, though. We can’t fight for tomorrow without resting, even if it’s only for an hour. Resting and practicing self-care is vital work.

If you’re in the United States, know that you can call RAINN at any time at 1-800-656-4673 to talk to people well-versed in sexual violence.