The word men is used in this piece. I left it as such because it’s a good critique of toxic masculinity. While many penis owners who aren’t men, everyone winds up harmed from toxic masculinity.

Talking about erectile dysfunction can be intimidating. Sadly, men are taught from their teen years that they need to always be strong, masculine, sexual potent.

Even if we discount serious ED issues caused by health problems – which should be talked about by doctors – performance letdowns happen.You may simply not be at the top of your shape, taking meds which interfere with your sexual function, experiencing issues with your partner. The list of possible causes is endless.

Just be aware that it happens to EVERYONE with a penis at some point in their life.

My partner too experienced some problems with his sexual performance some time ago because of an illness. I’ve tried on my own skin how the whole situation can mess up with an otherwise happy, fulfilling sex life.

But, hey, don’t panic if you seem to lose your erections for no reason or cannot be as hard as before. As I previously said, you’re not alone. Luckily, the sex toy industry has addressed these problems by creating fun and safe solutions!

When in doubt, talk about it with your doctor. ED may be the first symptom of a medical condition you may need to treat as soon as possible. After all, your doc is there to help you without judgement and, hopefully, without stigma!

How can sex toys help with occasional erection issues?

First of all, their fancy colours and shapes may introduce an element of fun and laughter into the bedroom, making the situation less awkward. I say it because I’ve tried it with my partner. When he seemed to not be able to get hard, seeing his worried facial expression turning into a big grin because of my funny-shaped cock ring is invaluable!

Penis or cock rings may be a valid option to get harder in minutes. They create a mild constriction at the base of your penis, so more blood flow is retained inside it, engulfing the corpora cavernosa. This way, you get a better erection with no effort at all!

The best rings to address this issue are the non-vibrating ones in my (and my partner’s!) experience. We found that, in many cases, the bullet vibe messes with the constriction of the penis, creating less of a ‘better erection’ effect. Most of those stretchy rings are made from porous materials like TPE or TPR these days. Thankfully, many companies have already released high-quality, body-safe, stretchy silicone ones. I hope that this trend continues to grow!

A penis pump is a great option too. It literally ‘pumps’ blood flow into your penis. As the corpora cavernosa get filled, you feel harder and stronger. There are many high-quality ones on the market, too. My partner and I found that the best results come from the constant, prolonged use of the product, even if the first effects, already felt from the first application on the penis, have mostly been satisfying in our experience.

What about sex essentials?

There are creams and gels out there that may create the same effect on the penis by boosting the blood flow with the help of vitamins and compounds. These contain things such as capsaicin – a substance derived from chili pepper – or things like Ginkgo Biloba, Ginseng, etc. They may be helpful for some. My partner and I found that we achieved better results by using them in combination with a cock ring or penis pump. Make sure you’re getting products from a reputable, trustworthy brand, and that the cream of your choice is compatible with condoms. Most topicals are intended to be applied immediately before intercourse.

Sex is not only PIV!

The best piece of advice I feel like giving to couples who are facing performance issues in the bedroom? Start considering sex as a more diverse variety of sensations that do not need necessarily to culminate in PIV intercourse. We’re just, once again, taught so from a young age that PIV is sex and orgasm is the goal. You’re not less of a man if you decide to satisfy your partner by going down on them instead of penetration. Maybe you are in the mood for some mutual masturbation, a 69 or simply watching each other while you touch your own bodies.

You’re not less of a man, I promise.

Sex is more about consent, communication and honesty than it is about performance!

Miss Doll is a fantastic sex toy reviewer, blogger, and friend. She is very passionate about sex positivity, body positivity and smashing the stigma one blog post at a time. She is also very curious about every new sex toy that comes out from the genius minds of the engineers in the adult industry – that’s why she decided to become a reviewer, and to offer her honest thoughts about dildos and vibrators to everyone who may want to stop and read them!

You can follow Miss Doll’s adventures on her site, Instagram, and Twitter.