I owe people an update on my life, so here it is!

I’m happy, safe, and very loved <3

Transcript

Welcome to the chronic sex podcasts, chronic sex talks about how self love relationships, sex and sexuality are all affected by chronic illness and disability. That’s not all though. We’ll also touch on intersectionality, social justice, empathy, current events, and much, much more. Give you a range of subject matter, this podcast is not suitable for those under the age of 18 and unless you have headphones in, you probably shouldn’t be listening to us at work. My name’s Kirsten Schultz and I’m your host.

Hey friends! Uh, what do you say when you’ve been gone for a couple months? I don’t know. This seems to be habit, but this time it wasn’t my fault, I promise. Um, in case you haven’t been following my social media, uh, I’m in the middle of getting a divorce and wasn’t planned, uh, on either of our sides. So it’s just been a lot. Um, you know, he started dating other people and realized that he was much less happy in our marriage then he acted like, or had communicated with me at all. And, um, you know, we’ve just figured out that we’re better as friends and don’t get me wrong, like this was not a mutually, uh, we didn’t come to that decision mutually at first, and I was definitely real fucking salty for really long time and I still have my days and my moments. Um, but a couple months out here I’m doing a lot better.

I had come back from pride fest to this letter. I had written him an email cause like we don’t communicate well verbally to each other. Sometimes we both have anxiety and it just makes it difficult. Um, and so he hand wrote me a letter that asked me if we could be friends instead. Um, and we cried together and it was a really rough day and I was really pissed and upset and sad. Um, but like I tend to do, put his feelings first and then got upset the next day. So, you know, um, and our original plan was we were gonna stay in our apartment through the end of the lease, which would have been next June would have been when we moved out. Um, and that just wasn’t going to happen. Like I had moved all my stuff up to our loft. Um, so that there was some physical distance and that just still was not enough. Um, so in the middle of all this, I’ve also moved to a studio that I’m making work really. Um, and it’s just jack and I, Gus passed away in the middle of June as well. Like June was the worst month, also like a good month, but it was the worst month.

Gus had been sick since Halloween. And so, you know, like I miss him every day. I wish I could give him snuggles and kisses and remind him how much I love him. But I also aware of how much he was in pain and you know, I was happy for him to not have to deal with that pain and to go to the everlasting never ending. Hayfields. Um, he, he was a really special kid and I, I miss him, but, uh, Jaq’s birthday or his Gotcha Day was this last week, Friday. And so, um, the ex came over yesterday with his girlfriend and we spoiled Jaq rotten, like gave him all of the snacks and love and hung out for like two hours. So it was actually really nice. Um, I still have my days and my moments, but it’s getting there. Um, on a very positive note in the middle of all of this, um, someone I had been interested in for a while, moved to Madison and we met to talk about, um, a sex educator stuff and just like fell head over heels for each other.

Um, and they’re also non binary, which makes my life a hell of a lot easier because part of the problem and my relationship with my ex was he didn’t get it. Um, he didn’t get, when I say I’m queer, what that means. He didn’t get, when I say I’m gender fluid, when I’m non-binary, like he didn’t get what that means and he didn’t get where he fit into my life. Um, and we could have had conversations about that, but that’s a different conversation and not to be had for you guys at some point when I, you know, feel like I’m ready to broach that topic, although it’s not really gonna change much. So do I need to? Probably not. Um, no. The nice thing about Ian is, well, everything. Um, we’re definitely, we’re definitely very in love with each other, um, but in a realistic way.

Like I don’t think they’re perfect and they don’t think I’m perfect. Um, and we make space for that imperfection, which is really cool. Um, but the other really nice thing is that we’re very similar. Um, which means that in the middle of trying to figure out who I really am again and what my life should look like, what I want it to look like instead of being with, you know, a cishet, middle-class, very privileged white dude. I am with a queer, non-binary, um, still middle-class but you know, has experienced shit, white enby, and it’s just very nice, um, to have somebody that’s very similar to me because it also means that in the process of healing for things, I’ve been able to recognize the things that I like in them and like where, where I may not have always appreciated those same traits in myself and being able to appreciate them. Now it’s very weird and very surreal, but in the best possible way. Um, and I am incredibly happy, incredibly happy. Um, my sister said I am more me than I’ve been in a really long time and she’s really right about that. Um, and it’s been nice to come back to myself that way.

So I didn’t really have, you know, an episode planned for today. I didn’t really have a topic, but I know not everybody who listens, follows social media. Uh, so, um, wanted to remind you guys to check those things out because I do post there a hell of a lot more often than I, um, you know, post podcast episodes. Um, I’ve got some cool things in the works, getting episodes arranged and um, setting up calls and also have a review episode scheduled to, to do once. I get a goodie from a new affiliate this week that I’m very excited about. Uh, I just want to scream it from the rooftops, but I’m not gonna yet. Um, but yeah, things are going well. Um, things are getting there and I promise more regular episodes will be coming soon. Um, it will still probably be that once a month, uh, because it’s, it just fits in with my life at the moment.

Um, Ian and I are going gallivanting and doing this and doing that and it’s just really nice. Um, it’s nice to have that time to be able to do those things and not necessarily feel guilty about taking time away from this. I still do feel guilty about taking time away from this, but also recognize, you know, that I need this, I need this time. I need this space to be able to find myself and be myself. So it’s been really nice. Um, I will have an episode coming in September. It may not come out on the first. Um, but I will try to keep that posted on social media, like keep people posted on schedule wise, how that’s going down. Um, and I’m hoping to have chat here in September. It’ll probably just be like a check-in chat and not anything grandiose, but you know, make sure to check out #chronicsex on Twitter and you will be able to uh, follow along with that.

Um, yeah, I think that’s probably it for now. I am really interested in doing like, um, an episode where people have sent questions in or you know, things like that that they want me to answer or give advice about or anything like that. So if that’s something that you’re interested in, you know, make sure to go to chronicsex.org And you’ll be able to, um, find the like anonymous comment thing and I’ll, I’ll find it and get back to you. Um, well I guess I won’t get back to you if it’s anonymous, if you want to make sure that I respond directly to you, that would be a time to go to social media. Um, my dms are always open on Twitter @chronicsexchat. Um, and then the Facebook page, I don’t check the messages quite as much, but you know, make sure to check it out. And um, I’m going to be doing some updates to the website shortly with some of the new affiliates, so make sure to keep your eyes peeled and I will talk to you soon. *kissy noise*

Chronic Sex is produced every two weeks by me first and it gives me the from Paddington bear because they’re awesome. You can find show notes and more over chronic sex dot org feared, enjoying listening to the show. Please subscribe and that way you won’t miss a single episode on itunes. We really chill. If you take a minute to read the show to not only does it give me great feedback, but it also helps the podcast get seen by people who may not know it exists and that’s pretty cool. You can support us over at patreon.com/chronicsex. As always, you can find links to everything @ chronicsex.org, from social media accounts to resources, sex, toy reviews, and more. Until next time, please take care of yourself. Remember that you are a freaking bad ass.