Six months ago, I started on testosterone.

Initially, I was only doing 0.1 mL every other week. I then increased the injections to every week. This week, I bumped up to 0.2 mL weekly. This is still a relatively low dose – even a starter dose – but it’s been heavenly so far.

Today, I wanted to share what the changes have been like.

Physical Changes

Initially, the facial hair began to come on relatively quickly. By March, about the time I began working from home, I was shaving here and there to clean up stray hairs. My facial hair is becoming more prominent and, while it’s still patchy, it’s filling in more and more.

My body hair has grown a lot. I went from not really having too much hair on the fronts of my thighs to growing a small forest. My legs are like small rainforests and my armpits are getting there. The treasure trail I once had (both in puberty and on prednisone) has returned, too.

During this time, I also saw a major decrease in my pain levels. I began to have more energy, specifically later at night. Neither of those occurrences is a surprise. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that both pain relief and insomnia can be relatively common with higher testosterone.

I feel stronger. I’m noticing more improvement in muscle strength with very little effort. For example, on Wednesday this week, I did 30 seconds of planking in 4-6 second chunks. By the end, I was exhausted and ready to yeet my PT app. Thursday night, I did exercises with my foam roller, none of which engaged my core in similar ways as planking for too long. Friday night, I was able to do three sets of 10-second planks with minimal exhaustion afterward. Pre-T, that kind of work would have taken a few weeks minimum. My muscles feel more active and I want to workout.

I’ve had a little bit of fat redistribution. I’m still incredibly curvy, but my thighs are starting to look more like athletic legs than simply being thicc. My love handles are getting less handle-y? Those curves are flattening out a little more.

As you can see here in this picture from the last couple of weeks, my facial shape has changed slightly to be more masculine in appearance. In fact, I went to masculinize it in a photo editing app and it barely changed. After dealing with weeks of heavy dysphoria, it was super awesome to see.

I’ve got some more pimples than usual, but no acne. I didn’t really wind up having bad acne through first puberty – just a little here and there – so fingers crossed!

And, yes, my clit has grown. It’s not been by a lot, obviously, but it’s noticeable. I’ve gone from struggling with self-lubrication terribly a few years ago to verrrrry much not having that issue.

Emotional Changes

I’ll be honest – I’ve had more dysphoria days as of late and that’s been hard to handle. It’s hot out and I’d like to go for a shirtless walk but, you know, tits.

Otherwise, I’m not having much more irritability. I was really worried about that because I greatly dislike feeling anger, especially if it affects my loved ones. I did have one day where my irritability between T and pandemic ish had me snap at my partner and make a comment I’m still annoyed about weeks later. I’m glad that they’re incredibly understanding and have been through varying T levels, so they get it.

Sex Drive Changes

At first, my sex drive went up – especially when I switched to injecting weekly. I was spending multiple times a day with toys and with my partner. One day, I masturbated eight times and still had the energy to have a decent sex session with my nesting partner.

That eventually evened out a bit, thankfully. I mean, I do still have to do my day job even if it’s from home and I’m not wearing pants – testosterone be damned!

Vocal Changes

The vocal changes started quickly. Anyone who has listened to the CS podcast has heard a girly, girly voice. Heck, it’s still the intro audio. This was my voice while trying in February to sound more manly, about two weeks after starting T.

Now that it’s the end of July, my range is growing to include lower and lower notes. I just need to practice more. The thing with testosterone is that, while it lowers your range, you also have to work to stop doing your femme voice… and that’s really hard!

My voice isn’t quite as deep as I want it to be, but it’s getting there! You can also see my small amount of facial hair on this video. Testosterone life is pretty cool, even if it means going through puberty again.

Future Changes

I’ve been using the name Grayson a lot, both at work and on social media. You’ll likely see a shift here soon, both on the site and coming episodes of the podcast. Not that it’s T-related, but my partner Ian (she/they) will be joining in on podcast episodes and writing here, too! I’m very excited about that.

I want top surgery, very badly. The dysphoria that comes along with having an F size chest but being transmasculine is something that’s really hard to explain. Binding – or the process of flattening the chest by wearing essentially a compression sports bra/top – only does so much. At the end of the day, I have to take that off and my chest is prominent again.

If you can help me save up for top surgery, you can donate to my GoFundMe, PayPal, Ko-Fi, or Patreon. Other things that would help? Buying from my affiliates or helping me gather goodies from my Amazon or Target wishlists. And, if you can’t, that’s okay, too!

Stay tuned for more updates from the T Files.