Election Reminders - Chronic Sex

With the election today, I wanted to offer some reminders and grounding techniques. I’m sure I’m not the only one who could use it.

Transcript

Welcome to the chronic sex podcast, chronic sex talks about how self-love relationships, sex and sexuality are all affected by chronic illness and disability. That’s not all though. We’ll also touch on intersectionality, social justice, empathy, current events, and much, much more give you a range of subject matter. This podcast is not suitable for those under the age of 18. And unless you have headphones, you probably shouldn’t be listening to us at work. My name’s Kirsten Schultz and I am your host.

Hi friends, it’s election day. Um, I wish I had something incredibly poignant to say, but I know that I’m be far from the only one concerned. And, um, I just wanted to take some time to go through some things that are helping me, and hopefully that could help you too. The first thing that we have to contend with is knowing that we won’t know the results today. We have to prepare ourselves to know that it might be a couple of days and might be a couple of weeks until we fully know the outcomes of the election. We need to do things that specifically bring us joy. During that time, we need to focus on stress, reducing habits, whether that’s eating healthily or sleeping well or going for walks or maintaining our social connections, we need to replace scrolling with something that’s going to be better for us. Um, am not the only person that engages in doom scrolling. I know. So I play in games, Washington talks, reading books, listening to music, calling people and finding science for hope because it’s, I think there’s plenty of spots for hope here. Um, some other things that we can do are, you know, affirm ourselves, remind ourselves that. And we are okay right now, um, that we are strong, that we can make it through things that are tough. Spend time dancing, move your body, listening to music, listening to a podcast, whatever

Stretch. think About setting intentional breaks, focus on what we need to do right now and not just what we need to do. Longterm, try to narrow the scope of what we’re thinking of.
I also Wanted to offer some grounding techniques, um, with my PTSD and my anxiety. I know it’s really easy to get stuck in a circle of fear and concern and freaking out for lack of a better term. Um, so I also wanted to offer grounding techniques. These are things that work for me. Um, and I’m going to read some of these from a couple of websites. I will link, um, in the show notes. So grounding works to help calm us down. When we start to think of something stressful, our amygdala, which is the section of the brain located in the temporal lobe, goes into action. Um, it is the part of our brain responsible for emotional responses, especially fear.
It’s really great for Preparing us for emergencies, but it likes to kick in, um, and detect threats when there aren’t threats. This is particularly what happens for those of us who have post-traumatic stress. Um, we have been in a situation or multiple situations where we need to do things to protect ourselves and our amygdala senses a pattern and it will go, Hey, this is very similar to this thing that happened. Um, and it will start to get you ready for fight flight freeze or fawn,
And You don’t have to do that, right? No. A typical process, right? Is we have a negative thought about a situation. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s, it’s real, right? It’s just a thought could be one of those weird, random, terrifying thoughts we all get, right? Um, the medulla says, Oh, nine 11 emergency. And it initiates body changes, physiological changes. So our muscles get more tense. Our heart beats faster. We breathe faster. Um, things like adrenaline and stress hormones are released in our body to make it so that we could outrun a lion. And I couldn’t outrun a lion. You what? I mean it interprets these body changes as even more evidence that there’s something wrong, which activates it more. And it becomes this very difficult cycle to deal with. So these grounding techniques can help break us out of that cycle and divert our mind away from anxious or stressful thoughts so that we stay in the moment. The first exercise we’re going to talk about is the grounding chair. Sit in a chair. That’s comfortable. One where your feet reached the floor and not, I’m not talking tippy toes. I’m talking feet flat on the floor, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in slowly for a count of three
And breathe out slowly,
Focus on your body. How does it feel to sit in this chair? Do you feel the contact between your body and the chair surface? What does the chair feel like? Is it textured? Is it smooth? Notice how your body sits on the chair? Do your arms hang over like the, like do your physical arms, hang over the arms of the chair. If there are arms on the chair, we’re on you push your feet into the ground and imagine energy draining down from your brain, through your body, through your feet and into the ground. Um, the doctor whose website I’m on says that she pictures it as a color filling my body, as it goes from top to toe Is the energy drains from your head feel how heavy each body part becomes your torso, your arms, and let that change, relax the muscles in your body. Another grounding technique. Uh, one that I really like is five, four, three, two, one, which is just easy to remember. And it lets you use all of your census, which I appreciate. So we’re going to close our eyes and take a couple of deep breaths in through our nose and out through our mouths. I’m going to also go in through my mouth because deviated septums, aren’t helpful.
[inaudible] yeah.
Now look around you. What are five things in your room that you can see? It could be within a room, also outside a window. So for me, I see finches in the Bush, outside of my window. I see a hockey box on my desk.
I See a picture of me and David Tennant and Alex Kingston. I see a collection of buttons. I have a button press.
I see, okay.
Along my wall, all of the name badges from the different conferences I’ve been on at
Mm words. Now
We’re going to talk about four things we can feel.
What does it feel like for me, I’m going to touch my hand.
My hand feels soft. It feels a little swollen memos haven’t kicked in yet. This morning Been a touch. One of my hockey punks,
Uh,
Smooth on the top, but on the bottom. And then along the sides has made in Canada and has fun. Ridges the grip at a hockey stick. I have a, a squishy stress version of rainbow dash from my little pony because I also have a pony problem so I can squeeze her. And she, she squishes in fun and satisfying ways.
And then I’m also going to touch my hair.
I took a shower last night, so my hair feels clean. It feels kind of dry. And like, I should get a leave-in conditioner. Well, let’s focus on three things. We can hear. Quiet enough. I can hear the finches outside talking. I don’t think you can hear them though. They’re kind of far. I can hear the hum of my work computer. I can hear the wind outside And what are two things that we can smell?
Um,
I did not plan for this. I can smell hockey puck.
Hmm. Smells rubbery, smells like ice.
That’s just a memory. I’m thinking it’s triggering, but stuff Smells like movement to me like activity.
Um,
I can also smell this, uh, fun table decoration that I got from, uh, my friend Kenton. That’s shaped like a little devil and it sits as table decoration and it smells like silicone. It is also got a satisfying squish to it. And one thing we can taste, I have Tootsie rolls here, but if I eat one, the rest of this podcast will sound like [inaudible]
Mm.
Something good, something nourishing, some things satisfy.
And
Then when we’ve gone through all of that, we take a deep breath. I didn’t even realize I was that stressed, but I definitely feel better. Now There are a number of fees and they can range from things that are very kind and sweet and compassionate almost, um, to the very silly one that I use with my sister all the time when either one of us is having a panic attack is try to think of a Disney movie where a parent doesn’t die or isn’t already dead. They don’t count. So not Bambi, not Pocahontas, which is a terrible movie. Anyway, Lon Milan’s parents are alive and they don’t die. Her dad’s sick, but he doesn’t die. Can take a while to find other ones though, which is kind of a fun thing.
There are
More physical things, right? Not just these things that involve our senses, but putting our hands on water, um, going for a walk, holding a piece of ice as it melts, my fibro would be . There are mental techniques. Think about categories like, uh, take a minute and name as many musical instruments as you can do math problems. There are also soothing things. Sit with your pets practice. Self-kindness repeat compassionate phrases to yourself. You’re having a rough time, but you’re going to make it through you’re strong and you can move through this pain. You’re trying hard and you’re doing your best. You don’t have to be things you say out loud. They can be things you say in your head. Hopefully these things will be helpful. And hopefully all of our concerns will be met with change and difference and compassion. Not only from ourselves, but from others.
I think it’s really important to go back to that notion of, we won’t know the full breadth of this election for a few days. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re going to feel. In the meantime, it doesn’t make you better or less than anybody else. And just spend time cultivating a space for yourself in the next couple of days, that is comforting and loving much like how you might approach a friend or your sister or somebody in your life. That means a lot to you. I wish I had some better something to say, but I hope that the next time we talk things are less tumultuous, less scary, and that we can all spend time remembering what it’s like to not have muscles tense stop the entire day.
Or
Do you remember what it’s like to have lower stress levels or even to remember what it’s like to laugh a little more by no means does the work stop after the election, but that at least gets us to a better starting place for the things we need to change in the meantime, take care of you. And I will see you soon or talk to you soon.
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