Author: Grayson Schultz

2019 Chat and Podcast Updates

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

a photo of a microphone with audactiy in the background and a teal overlay with white text - 2019 Chat and Podcast Updates - Chronic Sex

Over the last few months, my health has gone from ‘meh’ to ‘oh no.’ Add in a three month saga of a critically ill guinea pig and it has been a wild ride.

Now that I have a grant I’m working on in addition to freelance writing for sites like Allure (stay tuned!), I have to be more mindful of time.

I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to try to hold chat and the podcast too often… which leads to executive dysfunction on top of feeling gross. That just leads to a lot of me binging Nailed It! and daydreaming about being Nicole Byer’s best friend/make out buddy.

Anyway, it’s not necessarily that I have to slow down. I do need to readjust and manage my time better. Sometimes self-care is holding yourself accountable for things and making changes. My hope is that changing things up a bit will make it easier to keep a regular schedule for everything.

Chat

It’s been a long minute since we had chat. What I would like to do is move chat to once a month.

To keep things easy, I’m going to hold chat on the first of every month from now on. Setting a firm and unchanging date will help a lot. Reducing the frequency should help, too.

On top of that, it’ll make it easier for more people to join as some of the dates will be weekends.

Podcast

I think the Chronic Sex podcast needs to reduce in frequency, too. I don’t record sometimes because I know two weeks from now I might not be able to release a new episode.

To keep everything easy, I’m going to keep all the dates the same.

From now on, expect to participate in chat and listen to a new podcast episode on the first of every month.

That means the next chat will be on February 1st. Make sure to follow the tag #ChronicSex as times may change month to month. That’ll allow more people to participate from around the world.

If you haven’t joined chat before, check out this guide.

That also means the next podcast episode will be out on the first. You can find it on SoundCloud, Podbean, iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, and a ton of other places. Since the timing is changing, we’ll be in the third season. I think it makes it easier to manage.

Like I said, I think narrowing this stuff down will help me put out content. I stress about this stuff way too much. It isn’t that it’s not fun, but I really do treat it like the work it is.

If you miss hearing my voice more often and enjoy true crime or paranormal stuff, check out the Spooky Sconnie Podcast. It’s all about the spooky, paranormal, criminal, and just plain odd Badger State of Wisconsin.

Gender Census 2018 Report

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Gender Census‘ 2018 survey results are out!

If you haven’t heard of GC, it is ‘the blog for the annual survey of humans worldwide whose genders or lack thereof are not fully described by the gender binary.’ Every year, their goal is to run a survey about gender-related things and create a report.

This year, they covered the spelling of non-binary, the use of titles, pronouns, and what we use to self-identify.

You can check out the 2018 worldwide results here.

They’re also currently running a survey for English speaking peeps about titles we use. The questions are really easy, and the survey is quick to complete.

RA Is Officially Linked to Sexual Issues

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

While patients like me know that our health issues can interfere with our sex lives, it’s actually starting to be researched and documented!

That’s right – now you, too, can find seemingly redundant research telling you what you already know.

I know it’s easy to feel that way. The truth is, though, that research is finally catching up to common knowledge. Without basic research, it’s hard to expand and do what feels like ‘real’ work. Take Tristano’s 2014 writing on rheumatoid arthritis and sexual function, for instance. While it may be what we patients consider obvious knowledge, it opened the eyes of a lot of health care providers to the subject of sex and chronic illness.

Recently, a literature review on sex and RA came out. It found that there was a significant increase in what they call ‘sexual dysfunction’ for RA patients.

Back in 2016, a study showed that nearly a third of RA patients deal with major factors that inhibit their sex lives. That includes fear, insecurity, pain, comorbidities, and so much more.

What comorbidities? Well, secondary Sjogren’s syndrome is a major one. It often goes undiagnosed and un- or undertreated. These studies also have an average participant age of late 40s to late 50s, too. That means that issues associated with menopause might be being included as RA symptoms.

Medications bring their own side effects, too.

Unfortunately, most of these studies are being conducted on cisgender patients in heterosexual relationships. Between all this and the damage done by the phrase ‘sexual dysfunction?’ It makes me want to do my own research…

And I’m actually starting some in a few months in a larger population… but that’s a topic for another time. Stay tuned…

Review: A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni & Tristan Jimerson

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

This book came out earlier this year and I’ve been dying to check it out.

cover of the book

Archie is non-binary while Tristan is a cis dude. After being friends for a long time, Archie’s pronouns changed and Tristan happily changed his language. As any good ally should, he also has done a lot of work to help others learn about pronouns.

I’m a big believer in people learning better when they’re having an enjoyable time and laughing. The two friends go over pronoun basics in a hilariously snarky way, and I feel like it’s a great way for newbies to get a handle on using they/them pronouns.

The two have a great back-and-forth about one of the most common questions people have when they’re asked to use other pronouns:

“Now, one might be asking, why would someone choose to use gender neutral pronouns? There are a huge list of reasons, but the truth is — it doesn’t stinkin’ matter! You aren’t owed an explanation or reason for someone wanting to use different pronouns. It’s your responsibility as a decent human being to learn and use whatever pronouns they ask you to.” [pgs 19-20]

Archie talks about how difficult it is to be misgendered every single day. They liken it to having a brick added to their backpack with each misgendering.

BIG SAME.

It’s so tiring to see people just assume others are a part of the binary. Then again, I remember people don’t have all the same information or education I have had.

The pair also goes into how great it would be to have every group or personal introduction include pronouns. The more we can normalize talking about pronouns, the better we can help everyone learn about them.

When someone is being misgendered around you, you should move to correct that. First, it might help to have a preliminary convo with your non-binary or gender nonconforming pal about how they want that handled. Some of us aren’t out in certain aspects of our lives.

Finally, Archie talks about how hard it can be to come out as a non-binary person. They even touch on cutting toxic people out of our lives.

Verdict

All in all, this is the perfect book to snag to give to important people in your life to explain pronouns. While the focus is on they/them, you could easily ask others to read this with your pronouns in mind. It’s a must-read, especially for allies looking to support us.

You can snag the book on Amazon, Smitten Kitten, or wherever else you pick up books.

Awareness Calendar for January

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Month:

  • Birth Defects
  • Blood Donor
  • Cervical Cancer
  • Cervical Health
  • Glaucoma
  • Mental Wellness
  • Mentoring
  • Radon
  • Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention
  • Stalking
  • Thyroid
  • Winter Sports Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

Day/week:

  • Festival of Sleep Day (3)
  • World Braille Day (4)
  • National Folic Acid Awareness Week (7-13)
  • Human Trafficking Awareness Day (11)
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (21)
  • National Hugging Day (21)
  • National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week (22-27)
  • IV Nurse Day (25)
  • World Leprosy Day (27)
  • World Leprosy Week (27-Feb 2)
  • Young Carers Awareness Day (31)

My Favorite Things of 2018

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

black background: My favorite things of 2018

This year has been an absolute dumpster fire.

I’ll be honest, I’ve been burnt out a little bit here. One of my guinea pigs has been basically ICU-level sick since the week of Halloween. He’s finally on the mend (I hope), but it’s been a really rough few months.

Goods, Services, and Experiences

Playground Conference
I had such a blast in Toronto in February at the Playground Conference. I’m bummed that the hotel we were at was shitty with pumping scents through their HVAC, and even more bummed that they’re refusing to allow the conference back there due to us being upset about the lack of accessibility. Samantha has shared a number of threads about this on Twitter, including this one.

Gaelynn Lea’s ‘Learning to Stay’
I reviewed Gaelynn’s newest album back in September along with writing a feature on her in She Shreds. Having found Gaelynn on Twitter, I’m grateful that we’ve gotten to know more about each other. She’s really an amazing artist, sex-positive person, and general badass. On top of that, her continued dedication to disability activism keeps me fueled and ready to fight.

Benepod
Earlier this year, I reviewed the Benepod over on my other site, Not Standing Still’s Disease. This handy little tool uses the contrast between hot and cold to confuse our brains into relieving pain. That’s called the Thermal Grill Illusion, and it’s why stars like Lady Gaga get pain relief from going from freezing temps to hot ones. I’m just glad that I don’t have to pay steep prices like Gaga does to get similar relief!

I wrote a piece in a book
I really did! It’s called Biocitizenship: The Politics of Bodies, Governance, and Power. You can check out a piece I wrote about it along with how to snag a copy here.

Dating again
I tend to be pretty quiet about it, but I am dating again. I’ve written about it over on The Tempest a bit. I’ll keep my new partner’s identity secret and give her privacy, but she’s wonderful. I’m really grateful that she’s been supportive of me, my work, and my health crud.

Interviews in pretty cool spaces
I’ve gotten lucky enough to be interviewed in the following pieces:

Writing more for pay
Y’all, 2019 is set to be a year where my freelancing career takes off. Losing my part-time start-up job earlier this year was a major setback, especially paired with losing a writing contract because I talk about sex. Thankfully, I’ve already been working on pieces for sites like The Billfold, Ministry of Hemp, and The Tempest. Some of my next clients are even bigger, and I can’t wait until I can fully share them with you.

Affiliates

My affiliates help me pay the bills, but there will always be ones I hold closer to my heart. These are my three for this year:

Smitten Kitten
I love Smitten Kitten. It’s one of the stores I trust the most, both as a shopper and someone who speaks there from time to time. JP and the rest of the team works incredibly hard to bring great speakers, information, and products to consumers, and I love them all to death.

CrashPad Series
It’s taken me a long time to find porn that I like. Frankly, there is little to no disability representation anywhere… except CrashPad! Thank you for making porn that helps me feel seen, worthy, and sexy.

Awareness Calendar for December

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Month:

  • AIDS
  • Aplastic Anemia
  • Constipation Awareness
  • Drunk and Drugged Driving (3D) Prevention
  • Handwashing
  • Human Rights
  • Identity Theft
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Day/week:

  • World AIDS Day (1)
  • Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week (1-7)
  • International Day for the Abolition of Slavery (2)
  • International Day of Persons with Disabilities (3)
  • National Handwashing Awareness Week (2-8)
  • National Influenza Vaccination Week (4-11)
  • International Volunteer Day (5)
  • Human Rights Day (10)
  • Maple Syrup Day (17)
  • International Migrants Day (18)
  • U.N. Arabic Language Day (18)
  • National Homeless Persons’ Remembrance Day (21)

I’m an Effing Foundation Grant Candidate!

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

effing foundation for sex-positivity grant candidate

For the 2018-2019 grant cycle, the Effing Foundation has selected twelve new projects and two previously funded projects to support. You can read all about the projects here.

Naturally, mine is to work on creating a better guide for talking to doctors about sex and sexual health. I believe we have to create the change we need – or, often in my case, needed a while ago. This is the start of a really big project for me. The first step, though, is to survey people like you. More will be coming in the next few weeks, so stay tuned!

The tricky thing for everyone is that the foundation doesn’t have the money to flat-out award people. That means the research I want to do can’t happen without you. They still need to raise aroud $60k to fund everyone’s projects and make our dreams realities.

Want to help support the amazing projects like mine? You can donate online or by mailing a check to:

The Effing Foundation,
PO Box 441497,
Somerville, MA 02144

Sexy Holiday Sales

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

dark blue background with gold, silver, and white accents: sexy holiday sales | chronic sex

 

Keep checking back throughout the week as I’ll be adding more holiday sales to the list!

 

photo of two people in a moped with sidecar and text: Black Friday & Cyber Monday Sale! 25% off entire order plus free shipping - exluding fun kits, while supplies last, not valid with any other offer, only valid 11/21/18-11/28/18

Fun Factory’s sale gives you 25% off of your entire order – excluding fun kits. You’ll also get free shipping! This sale ends on the 28th.

 

drawing of a house full of robots that share the details of the sale as described below

SheVibe is offering a couple of sales, giving you the opportunity to save more by spending more. To save, use the corresponding codes below:

Save 10% off orders $75+ – JINGLE10
Save 15% off $100+ – JINGLE15
Save 20% off $125+ – JINGLE20

You’ll snag free shipping, and this sale runs until the 26th.

 

Peepshow Toys logo

Peepshow Toys is running a sale where you save 25% off your order! There is no coupon code needed. This sale runs through the 26th (Monday).

Starting today (Friday) through Monday, you can also snag GREAT door buster deals while supplies last here.

 

You can save 30% off Vibrant’s Cyber Monday collection. Make sure to use the code CYBERMONDAY18 to save.

 

a photo of various brightly colored sex toys with white text in black text boxes: sex toys for everyone - smitten kitten

For Cyber Monday, you can save 30% off orders from Smitten Kitten! That’s both in-store and online.

You’ll also get free shipping on orders of $75 and up. Get shopping!

 

grey comic background with a green logo and white text: geeky sex toys - toys for the naughty nerd!

Enjoy geeky things like superheroes? Want to snag sex toys related to those heroes? I’ve got the perfect place for you!

You can save 20% on everything from Pokemoan butt plugs to Doctor Screw’s Sonic Vibrator now through the 27th here.

 

photo of a WOC and a white person with short hair kissing; the WOC is in a wheelchair and the white person is kneeling kissing them; Crash Pad Series affiliate logo

Remember, you can always save 15% off your CrashPadSeries membership using the code CHRONICSEX. I highly suggest checking out the videos with Joey and Lyric Seal (pictured above in a wheelchair).

Oh yes, there is disabled representation in porn, my friends.

 

Come As You Are logo

Come As You Are is my favorite Canadian co-op. The staff are amazing, and their commitment to quality is top-notch. Their biggest sale of the year runs until Monday. Here are the codes to save:

BLACKFRIDAY10: SAVE 10% OFF ORDERS $100+*
BLACKFRIDAY20: SAVE 20% OFF ORDERS $200+*
BLACKFRIDAY30: SAVE 30% OFF ORDERS $300+

Keep in mind those are all before discount prices. The sale runs until the 26th.

 

tool shed logo

Tool Shed Toys in Milwaukee is getting in on the Cyber Monday action, too!

You can save 20% off any online order when you use the code CYBERTOOLS18 at checkout on the 26th.

Pro Domme Research

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Grace, a Pro Domme in the Orlando area, is doing some exploratory research regarding the habits of clients who purchase the services of Pro Dommes.

She would like to use the information to help the industry at large, as very little research exists on the topic today. The survey functions to get some idea of how clients of different demographics find Pro Dommes.

At the end of the survey, it asks if you would like to participate in a more in-depth interview. Please fill out that portion if you would like to contribute to connecting more quality clients to Dommes that match their desires.

The information that you share here is private and will only be used for statistical analysis. If you choose to share your email, it will only be used to contact you for a more in-depth interview.

You can learn more here or take the survey here.