Author: Grayson Schultz

Discharged from Pelvic Floor Therapy

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

dark background with light teal letters "Discharged from Pelvic Floor Therapy" and darker teal letters below that "Chronic Sex" - under this is an illustration of two glasses with reddish liquid clinking together between two intricately designed squiggles

TW gender dysphoria, molestation/sexual abuse mention

It’s been a while since I did an update on my pelvic floor therapy journey. The truth is that, while it’s been immensely helpful, it’s also been quite dysphoria-inducing.

I canceled a few appointments here and there. It felt like going in would do more harm than good. On top of that, I haven’t ‘come out’ as genderfluid to any of my providers. Hell, most of them assume I’m straight because I’m married to a dude. It’s hard to find providers that fit right for me and I fear losing them to bigotry by coming out.

Plus, honestly, having someone play with my vagina is… a little PTSD-inducing, too. I was molested as a child and, no matter what I did, I couldn’t erase concerned thoughts from my mind. On top of that, we don’t talk enough about our sexual parts which makes communication around this awkward.

There are a lot of factors that make this less accessible to many of us.

That said, I kept up with my home exercises and added in newer ones along the way. Things that allow me to work outside of appointments really let my ability to learn and expand on that knowledge shine.

On Monday, I got the great news that we’re done with pelvic floor therapy. It was certainly a relief to hear.

The intense spasms that led me to therapy have drastically decreased in frequency and intensity. Instead of waking up several times a week in the middle of the night at 8/10 pain, I’ve only had a handful of occasions over the last few weeks. The most recent middle-of-the-night spasm was last week. Instead of being 8/10, I was sitting at 5/10. It took less time for the pain to ease, too. The pain I’ve had testing toys and being sexy has gone down as well.

Learning more about my pelvic floor and how to strengthen it has been immensely helpful. I’ll be highlighting some of my favorite tips next week. For now, though, it’s time to celebrate!

Sins Invalid Facebook Live Tonight – Crip Bits: Fucking While Crippled

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

a photo with various textures and colors in the background with red-outlined letters "Crip bits" "fucking while crippled part two" and red text over white opaque lines "with Patty Berne and India Harville"

Sins Invalid is one of my favorite sites. They focus on intersections and social justice, especially around sexuality and disability. We have to view people as whole beings, not diagnoses codes.

They’re also just so damn cool:

We define disability broadly to include people with physical impairments, people who belong to a sensory minority, people with emotional disabilities, people with cognitive challenges, and those with chronic/severe illness. We understand the experience of disability to occur within any and all walks of life, with deeply felt connections to all communities impacted by the medicalization of their bodies, including trans, gender variant and intersex people, and others whose bodies do not conform to our culture(s)’ notions of “normal” or “functional.”

They hosted a Facebook Live a few weeks ago that was super amazing and hella popular. It had such a wide reach that they’re holding another!

That’s right! Later tonight, from 6:30-7:30 pm Pacific, you can pop over and check out their live stream! You can ask questions via FB or this Google Form beforehand. If you’re catching this later, you’ll be able to watch via the videos tab on their page.

Did I mention it’s live captioned?

I seriously love them.

Go like them on Facebook and be sure to tune in later tonight!

Featured image from Sins Invalid email.

Review: Umie by Tantriss (with a word on gender, representation, and appropriation)

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo against a white and grey chevron quilt; pink dildo-shaped vibrator with a smartphone illustration featuring a screenshot from the Umie app; white text box with black text "Review: Umie by Tantriss" and teal text "Chronic Sex"

Disclaimer: I was given the Umie for free in exchange for my honest review.

There’s a lot to say, so let’s just dig in.

Product details

The Umie is 9.5 inches long and made of silicone.

It charges via USB and the cord is included in the package. You can take the Umie underwater with you for up to 30 minutes.

There is a partner app that makes the Umie incredibly accessible. I’ll touch more on that below, but it’s the thing that makes this toy worthwhile.

Testing

Without the app, I’m not sure how much I’d be able to figure out the toy. The buttons are small to not get in the way, but also don’t lend themselves to great accessibility. It’s not always easy to tell which button you’re touching in the moment – or to press it.

A sun symbol controls the heat while a symbol similar to a wifi one cycles through the patterns. The arrow at the bottom of the toy turns it on, which seems to be different for many toys. I doubt neither myself nor my husband would be able to remember any of this.

I honestly just mashed the buttons until they turned on each time I used the Umie.

Solo use

For me, the app really saved the day. It allows you to control and access a number of features that would be tricky to move through with the Umie alone. You can turn the toy off, control intensity, move through preset patterns, and more.

There was no accessible way to enjoy this toy without the app.

I really appreciated the warming feature in the toy, especially now that we’ve gotten freezing temperatures here in the Midwest. It takes a few minutes to warm up, but that feature needs to be included in so many more toys.

A lot of learning about and playing with this toy was through trial and error more than having a roadmap. There was more explanation in the app itself, but that’s also not accessible for many people.

The presets were great for changing up the sensations Umie doles out. I appreciated the draw-your-own-pattern/custom mode as well, though I wish there was more information on this. The sound mode seemed like a fun idea, but didn’t seem to correlate that great with sounds in our bedroom, whether I was alone or not.

Partner play

I made the mistake of giving the hubs control of my phone while playing with the Umie. It was a fun mistake, but also led to me getting vibrations from Andrew Gurza’s Disability After Dark podcast, the Beauty & The Beast Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack, and videos of the guinea pigs.

The problem is that, while you can access media to sync with the vibrations you feel, there’s no separation. Podcast episodes were alongside voice memos and songs with no way to access playlists through the app. The videos were even worse, though that’s probably because all my videos are of our guinea pigs or my niblings.

It was, uh, weird.

Plus, there seemed to be little correlation between the intensity of the vibrations and the media being played. A rap song with heavy bass gave the same constant vibration as Andrew’s beautiful voice. Vibrations went 0-100 very quickly. While this was a nice potential feature, it feels like these things weren’t fleshed out fully before release.

There was a lot of fun in letting T control the app and not knowing what was going to happen. That was really the end of that excitement, though. Maybe if I were better at being serious and communicating what I like or if we got a little more serious in the bedroom, this would’ve worked better. The design needs some tweaking, though.

I can see this being fun for play when I travel or if we were long-distance. It would really have to be combined with a call or Skype, though. We didn’t try to access the actual long-distance features.

A word about gender, sexuality, and appropriation

I’ll admit that I’m a little… I fell odd about the gendered nature of this toy. The marketing is geared towards women, either single or in a relationship. Even the colors – pink or white – tend to be more femme-geared ones for toys. They even label the toy the “PREMIER PLEASURE TOY FOR BOTH WOMEN AND COUPLES.”

In the app’s social component that allows you to interact with other users if you so choose, you can only select between male and female. It felt odd to be misgendered by a sex toy – and their company.

There seems to be some cisheteronormativity going on, too. In everything I could find, the only couples interviewed or featured were cis-appearing male/female couples. They were also white… which brings up another issue. I know that it’s not always easy to display diversity, but you can’t rely on white abled-appearing cishet couples to sell a sex toy. You just can’t.

There are a lot of comments on Umie/Tantriss’ social media around unlocking enlightenment using this toy. Even the preset vibrations are names related to Asian religions – Nirvana, Chakra, etc. Without being able to find much about Umie/Tantriss’ background, this feels very appropriative to me. It’s essentially a sex toy version of commercialized yoga or Buddhism… especially since there’s no education around Tantra on their site or in their app. The site mentions breathwork, for example, but nothing more about it.

Look, my undergraduate degree was in religious studies and I focused heavily on Asian religions, so this really irks me. There’s so much appropriation of these cultural ideals and beliefs in our society. When someone adept at internet searching can’t find much about the background of your company in relation to these ideals, it’s definitely not a great look.

Verdict

As problematic as this is, I enjoyed the vibrator. I liked being able to switch things up on my phone, that I can do it one-handed. There’s an app for this toy that makes it more accessible when my hands are having a rough arthritis day. It’s lightweight and easy to move around.

All the problematic stuff, though, brings me down. I’m post-orgasm and should be super happy. Instead, I’m relaxed but super irked. This isn’t something I feel comfortable endorsing because it goes against so many things I fight for – gender neutrality, cultural respect, diversity, social justice, etc. There’s not enough transparency about the company to even know if this is appropriative or not, but it feels that way. It shouldn’t be hard to find the background of your company, either, and that’s off-putting.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had a sex toy cause me to feel so much shame. If you made it to the end here, I wish I had something awesome to give you.

You can always save 10% off more ethical gear over at Vibrant when you use the code ‘CHRONICSEX’ (not applicable for use with other coupon codes). Likewise, you can save 10% at Peepshow Toys using ‘CHRONIC.’ At the very least, maybe check out Pink Label. They have amazing porn full of diversity, representation, and beautiful consent!

If interested, you can snag the Umie directly from Umie/Tantriss.

Review: The Queen Bee from Hot Octopuss

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

white background with purple octopus and bee with 'be' and 'mine' above black text "Review: The Queen Bee from Hot Octopuss" and "Chronic Sex"

The amazing people over at Hot Octopuss gave me the Queen Bee for free in exchange for an honest review.

Technology brings us the most amazing things sometimes. The Queen Bee is one of them. I just finished testing it and I’m honestly a bit speechless, so let’s just dive right in.

Product Deets

Queen Bee is two-sided in the best way.

front view of Hot Octopuss' Queen Bee - grey hairbrush-shaped sex toy against a grey and white chevron quilt - the brush-resembling portion is smooth with buttons and a charging spot on the handle

One side is massage-oriented, delivering nice vibrations without being too overwhelming. You’ll also find the controls and charging spot on the handle on this side.

back view of Hot Octopuss' Queen Bee - grey hairbrush-shaped sex toy against a grey and white chevron quilt - the hairbrush resembling portion has an oval set apart by an outline

The other side has what really makes Queen Bee different – their multi-award winning PulsePlate Technology™ that delivers more powerful oscillations.

There are six vibration patterns to choose from. With two sides and several intensity settings, this gives you a fun list of combinations to play with. The Queen Bee is also completely waterproof!

Queen Bee charges using a magnetic USB cord, maximizing your pleasure if you care about the earth. You can run it for up to an hour on one charge, too, which is nice. It takes about four hours to fully charge.

It’s 9.5 inches long and is made of TPE/TPR. Hot Octopuss suggests using a water-based lubricant if you pick this up. Make sure to clean after each use!

Testing

From an accessibility standpoint, Queen Bee is pretty great. It’s ergonomic in design and pretty light. It’s easy to access the control and change anything. I really enjoyed it from that aspect as there aren’t many toys out there that are relatively easy for me to use without interrupting the fun. That said, the controls aren’t necessarily intuitive. I’ve found myself switching vibration patterns instead of increasing the intensity. I usually struggle with this, though, and didn’t find it to be much of a deterrent.

It’s a little loud. Hot Octopuss rates this at under 55 decibels, which is about what a fridge or air conditioner sounds like in your home. It’s not the toy for you if you’re looking for something incredibly quiet and discrete.

In order to really get the full effect from the pulse plate, I had to actively separate my labia and set the toy against it. When trying to snag clitoral stimulation from other toys, I have been able to get away with not doing that. The other side, though, was able to bring fun sensations regardless of where I set it.

An orgasm was fairly easy either way, though slightly less so if I was squirming and needed to recenter the pulse plate side. All in all, I wasn’t turned off by that. It’s kind of fun to tease yourself sometimes. Plus, with how easy it was to move and control Queen Bee, having to put in a little more effort there wasn’t an issue.

Verdict

If you’re looking for something discrete, quiet, or insertable, Queen Bee isn’t something you’ll be happy with in the end. Don’t get me wrong – I like it – but not everyone does.

As a vulva owner, I enjoyed the Queen Bee. It’s certainly worth taking a look at getting your hands on one. It’s versatile, different, and sleek. I can also see how it would be a great toy regardless of gender, too, because it’s very similar to wand massagers but lighter and easier to control.

You can snag the Queen Bee from Hot Octopuss or from my affiliates Peepshow Toys and SheVibe.

Awareness Calendar for December

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

blue background with white lines and black text: "Awareness Calendar for December" - and teal text: "Chronic Sex"

Month:

  • AIDS
  • Aplastic Anemia
  • Constipation Awareness
  • Drunk and Drugged Driving (3D) Prevention
  • Human Rights
  • Identity Theft
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Day/week:

  • World AIDS Day (1)
  • Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week (1-7)
  • International Day for the Abolition of Slavery (2)
  • International Day of Persons with Disabilities (3)
  • National Handwashing Awareness Week (3-9)
  • National Influenza Vaccination Week (4-11)
  • International Volunteer Day (5)
  • Human Rights Day (10)
  • International Migrants Day (18)
  • U.N. Arabic Language Day (18)
  • National Homeless Persons’ Remembrance Day (21)

Review: Fun Factory Delight

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

a black and white S shaped toy against a black and white zebra striped blanket with product box in the background; black text box has white text "Review" purple text "Fun Factory Delight" and below has a purple text box with white text "Chronic Sex"

Disclaimer: I was given this product for free in exchange for my honest review.

Fun Factory, one of my favorite companies in the world, sent me the Delight to try out.

black and white S-shaped toy

 

I was intrigued by the shape of the Delight. I mean, it looks amazing, right?

Product details

The Delight is just under 6 inches long and over an inch wide. You can get it wet, but it’s not fully waterproof. It has three different vibration patterns and eight intensities. Because of the curvy shape, it’s safe for butt play – and can be a great prostate massager! It’s also a rechargeable toy, making it more eco-friendly.

That’s one of my favorite things about Fun Factory in general – they’re super eco-conscious.

The black section of the toy is more rubbery and grippy, while the white part is harder.

Testing

I’m not gonna lie – I had a lot of fun testing this one. I always try to test under a variety of conditions – bad pain, migraine, etc. At the risk of being punny, this toy was a Delight to use each time.

Sorry. Anyway…

The curve this toy has is something that I really enjoy. It can be an effective vibrating dildo or give direct clitoral stimulation. If you get the angle just right, you can have some clitoral stimulation while using this internally, too.

I didn’t use it with any butt play, but it’s definitely a safe one for that. It’s not a flared base, but it’s not far off, either. The curve that makes this toy beautiful also makes it very difficult to disappear up there.

That little curly bit at the top makes the Delight easy to hold, especially with that little bit of grip. Having the buttons on this piece also makes it super easy for someone like me to change up the intensity often. I had no problem using this while having a rough hand day, either, which is always a plus!

The very thing that makes it easy to use for solo play might make it harder for partner play. A partner might have a rough time trying to control the speed since the controls are so close to the body. I flail around a lot while having fun, so that could just be me.

Verdict

This is definitely a great toy – accessible, comfortable, and easy to use. Each time I tested it, I was able to orgasm one way or another. If you’re looking for a reliable and beautiful sex toy, the Delight won’t steer you wrong.

Giving Tuesday: Help Our Community

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

black background with green text "Giving Tuesday: Help Our Community" and white text "Chronic Sex" - both middle-aligned above a white hand, outlined in black, with a pink bracelet and a purple bracelet supporting/holding up the text

One of the things I’ve always envisioned this site being able to do is lifting up other people in our communities. For me, that means chronically amazing, trans/GNC, queer, sex-educatory, animal-loving people.

Since it’s Giving Tuesday, I want to highlight ways we can give back to our peoples, whoever they may be. While I’ve put people under a variety of sections, notice that intersecting identities don’t just limit most of us to one label.

Chronically Amazing

USA

My friend Kenzie defies words. She is all at once innovative and an old soul, spontaneous and planned out, supportive and sassy. There are a million reasons I’m glad she and I are friends. Unfortunately, she’s struggling a lot lately. While dealing with being a senior in college, she’s juggling an ever-growing list of serious chronic health conditions. The dual hit to the bank account of being a chronically ill college student is something that’s really hard to cope with. That’s where we come in! You can donate to her Amazon wishlist or contribute to her fundraiser that helps train her service dog (and giant love muffin) Ophie.

Britt is another chronically ill gal. Recently, she’s received a rare disease diagnosis and struggled with back-to-back hospital admissions. On top of that, she’s barely able to eat. You can help get her food and supplies through her Amazon wishlist.

Struggling with undiagnosed health issues is scary, especially when they land us in emergency multiple times. Kat, who is a freaking joy to know, is dealing with just that – struggling with a high ER bill on top of needing to see specialists. You can help offset the costs she’s been hit with on her GoFundMe.

Judy lives with a number of health conditions. Unfortunately, she has little help with day-to-day tasks, schooling, medications, and more. She’s looking to get a service dog, but they’re very expensive. Please visit her GoFundMe to learn more.

Annabel has been fighting breast cancer for over a year and recently had a second major surgery. Unfortunately, she’s not covered under the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and will be out of work for two months. You can help cover the costs of her surgery and expenses via GoFundMe.

Antonina is a hard-working Haitian immigrant with 4 children. She works as a nurse to provide for her kids, but this has left her with severe damage in her knees – to the point she needs a total knee replacement on each one. With the Temporary Protected Status of Haiti being ended before August 2019, it’s incredibly important to raise the money to get these surgeries as soon as possible to allow for the best possible outcomes. You can donate here.

Canada

Alex is a great reminder that healthcare isn’t better in other countries – yes, even Canada sucks when you’re chronically ill. They have been fighting to get an accurate diagnosis for ages. Unfortunately, that requires a series of very expensive tests that the Canadian health system won’t cover. You can donate to Alex’s GoFundMe or shoot them money via PayPal.

UK

Shona, who you might remember as the author of this piece, has an outdated wheelchair. Since she is able to walk (with a metric ton of pain), the National Health System in the UK won’t help her get a new one. Since she can’t work, either, funds are limited to get a new chair. Please consider donating to her GoFundMe.

Emma also lives in the UK where they are ill-equipped to handle her complex medical issues. On top of chronic Lyme Disease, she endures a number of harrowing symptoms that leave her bedbound 90% of the time. Her family is raising money to help get treatment underway as the NHS isn’t cutting it.

Representation

Dawn runs Spoonie Chat, a weekly Twitter chat held on Wednesdays at 8 pm Eastern that’s focused on living well will a variety of chronic illnesses. She’s currently working on crowdfunding her writing to help get more representation of illness out there.

Black and Brown Spoons is an online community started to help Black, Latinx, Asian, Middle Eastern, and Indigenous people with chronic illnesses get connected to information, resources, and support around healthcare and disability rights in the US. Honestly, most of us who are popular are pretty white and we don’t experience the same issues the same way. They’ve got a Teespring page set up with great gear you can grab while helping them further this awesome mission. They have a merch giveaway that ends today, too, until 6 pm Eastern today. Check out this Twitter thread for how to enter.

Jennifer Brea has made a lot of headlines recently. As the filmmaker behind Unrest, she is challenging providers to see and believe the reality of patients living with ME/CFS. The film premiered at Sundance this year and it’s gotten rave reviews (mine is coming soon!). If you want to help Jennifer and her organization raise more awareness of ME/CFS, please click here.

Trans/GNC

Gender-affirming surgery is a very extensive and expensive process. It can be scary to go through, even though it’s super helpful to have. Kai has been on testosterone for two years and is starting the process of getting bottom surgery. Between having to travel across the country – and stay for 6 weeks – for treatment, he is having a hard time paying the bills associated with preparing for surgery. Please visit Kai’s YouCaring page to help.

Ty is working to get top surgery. Right now, though, their insurance won’t cover the costs. Donating will help Ty with the costs of surgery and being out of work while healing. Their YouCaring page has more information.

Getting a new passport for trans folx can be incredibly expensive, but very worthwhile. You can help, though! An organization is helping to cover passport fees for trans peeps. Visit their YouCaring page to learn more.

Zaire is a black, trans, chronically-ill queer who has been struggling with ongoing homelessness for their entire life, on top of chronic illness, ongoing health struggles, and the daily violence of anti-blackness and transphobia moving through this white supremacist world. You can help them by donating through their YouCaring page.

Jacie is a runner and activist who fights hard for equality. Unfortunately, after coming out as trans in 2014, she was severely beaten. While she’s in a safer position right now, she is raising money for surgery to correct the damage done during the attack.

Queer

Bree is one of my favorite people. I can’t believe I get to be on a panel with her soon! (Go to Clexacon – you won’t regret it.) She’s a fellow queerdo, disabled, and just hella cool. She helps remind people all the time to practice self-care and is very open about mental health, which is so very needed. You can help her through her fun Amazon wishlist, her medical one, or on Patreon.

NC Queer TROUBLMakers (Trans Revolutionaries Organizing Under Black Lives Matter) is a statewide collective of queer and trans people of color in North Carolina. We began formally working together in August of 2015, coordinating Queer and Trans Black Lives Matter demonstrations at Pride events across the state. They need additional funding to help their members pay rent and cover basic living costs. Visit their GoFundMe page to learn more.

Sex Education

Ducky Doolittle is an amazing human being. She’s one of the reasons that I got into sex education work. Unfortunately, she has recently been diagnosed with uterine cancer and just went through surgery to kick cancer’s ass. If you can donate to help keep things afloat while she does her thing, click here to pop to her PayPal.

Sarah Brynn is one of my favorite sex educators. She’s had a lot of great things to share during the MeToo movement as a fellow survivor. She wants to help create more trauma-informed, feminist sex education. You can donate to her via Patreon or PayPal.

JoEllen Notte talks very openly about mental health and sex. She has given presentations and talks at many conferences on the subject and is working on writing a book. Check out her Patreon and support her amazing work.

Ever heard of the book Girl Sex 101? The author behind that, Allison, work on a lot – sex-ed videos, blogs, essays, art, fiction, etc. She has a Patreon set up to snag more funding and make her work more accessible.

Amy runs Coffee & Kink. In addition to sex education, she writes erotic fiction and helps people new to investigating sexuality navigate their new world. You can support her work on Patreon.

Artemisia FemmeCock writes reviews of sex toys and kink products. She works hard to bring in educational aspects, helping to demystify kink and sex toys. Please visit her Patreon to learn more.

Cheryl AKA Horny Geek Girl is a writer and sex blogger, too. She recently set up a Patreon in an effort to focus more on her passion – badass erotic writing.

Amy Jo Goddard and Julie Carlson are on a mission to improve pelvic exams, and they go on a quest to find out why patients have horror stories about gyn exams, what students are learning, and how to change our approach to gynecology to one of empowerment rather than dread and trauma. Check out their project, At Your Cervix.

Organizations

LGBT+ and Sex Ed

The Native Youth Sexual Health Network (NYSHN) is an organization by and for Indigenous youth that works across issues of sexual and reproductive health, rights and justice throughout the United States and Canada.

In the quaint town of Pawtucket, Rhode Island sits a building with a giant walk-through vulva. The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health works tirelessly to provide education to everyone, including continuing education for people like myself.

Heart Women & Girls is one of my favorite organizations. They focus on sexual health and education for femmes within Muslim spaces. Providing culturally-sensitive health information is something that is vastly overlooked and badly needed – and Heart does that. Donate and help them on their path to fix the world.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation came about after Matt’s brutal murder in 1998. As a baby queer at the time, I’ve written about how Matt’s story continues to push me to fight for all of us. The Foundation continues to push for better laws against hate crimes, especially for the LGBT+ community. You can donate to them here.

TSER – Trans Student Educational Resources – is a youth-led organization dedicated to transforming the educational environment for trans and gender nonconforming students through advocacy and empowerment. In addition to our focus on creating a more trans-friendly education system, our mission is to educate the public and teach trans activists how to be effective organizers. Please consider donating to help further their mission.

Founded in 2003 by trans activists, the National Center for Transgender Equality provides a powerful transgender advocacy presence in Washington, DC. After the many setbacks our community has seen this year – and the ones we fear are coming – it’s important to continue supporting their work and affirming our support for them.

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence. It’s named after one of the trans pioneers of the LGBT rights movement, Sylvia Rivera. Please consider donating to them today.

Health

The International Pain Foundation is a great organization. They work hard to help raise awareness about various pain-causing conditions as well as providing resources and help for patients.

RA Guy has been a staple in patient communities for ages. Recently, he started his own foundation that focuses on providing education, support, and connection for arthritis patients.

The Autoinflammatory Alliance is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping those with autoinflammatory diseases, also known as periodic fever syndromes… AKA part of what I deal with (and hate) daily.

NORD – the National Organization for Rare Diseases – works with patients, providers, researchers, pharma, and more to help raise awareness and money for the many rare diseases out there (some of which aren’t even on their list). You can donate to help further their cause.

Selfish Time

It’d be hard to write this out and not include my stuff. I’m semi-reluctantly posting links here that will help me to continue producing awesome content, going to conferences, and developing stuff to help all of us.

You can donate via Patreon, PayPal, or Ko-Fi. Additionally, you can snag CS gear on Zazzle, donate to ORCHIDS, or purchase something from my Amazon Wishlist. You can also shop using one of my affiliates:

Cyber Monday Sales to Check Out

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

cream background with black text "Cyber Monday Sales to Check Out" and "Chronic Sex"

Here’re some great sales going on today!

Vibrant

photo of an apple laptop with yellow tulips and a white cup of coffee in the background; white and teal text: "24-Hour Cyber Monday Sale Save 30% Off Any Item! Code: CYBERMONDAY17 Valid 11/27/17, *Coupon applies to most expensive item in your cart only

You save 30% off of any single item using the code CYBERMONDAY17. This discount applies to the most expensive thing in your cart, so dream big! Maybe it’s time to get that Doxy you’ve had your eye on? Click here to shop.

Gender Station

blue watercolor background with white text "PROMO CODE: BFD20 20% OFF AND FREE SHIPPING OVER $99" and black text "Now Through Monday!"

Gender Station is an amazing site. Their whole mission is to provide gender-affirming gear for people. They’re running a sale right now that gives you 20% off the gear they carry and free shipping on orders over $99. The sale ends tonight at 11:59 PM Eastern.

SheVibe

Don’t forget the great sale from SheVibe ends tonight at 11:59 PM Eastern.

  • 10% Off Orders $75 OR MORE – Code: PAST
  • 15% Off Orders $100 OR MORE – Code: PRESENT
  • 20% Off Orders $125 OR MORE – Code: FUTURE

Peepshow Toys

Peepshow Toys’ sale is still going on as well. Click here to check out the deals and here to look at these blowout specials.

 

Happy shopping!

Review: The Doxy Massager, My New Lover

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo of a purple Doxy massager on a white fluffy comforter next to a copy of the book "The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability" - underneath is a purple box with white text "Review: Doxy Massager' and "Chronic Sex" all middle-aligned

Disclaimer: I was given the Doxy Massager for free in exchange for my honest review.

This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but I’ve never had a wand-type toy. Everything I’ve had is either a vibrator, dildo, or epic combination of the two. I wanted one but could never seem to justify spending that kind of money on myself.

I just want to say that, thanks to Doxy, I get it. They gave several massagers to sex bloggers attending Woodhull in August. It’s taken me this long to write up my review because… well, I had fun testing.

Product Deets

The wand plugs into an outlet using a built-in AC adapter. The 12-foot cord means you shouldn’t run into too many problems with that, though. The top speed is 9,000 RPM which is, uh, intense. This means, though, that this is not a submergeable toy. Please don’t bathe with it!

It’s just over a foot long and under 3 inches wide, aside from the head which is 7.5 inches. The body on this particular one is plastic with the head made from PVC. I haven’t experimented, but the head can accommodate any magic wand attachments.

From an accessibility standpoint, this toy is exceptional. There are many toy mounts and pillows out there to help you get in the right position with this wand. While this is a slightly heavier toy at around 2 pounds, it’s relatively easy to move. The buttons are in a great spot and are straightforward – on/off, increase, decrease.

It’s also great to note that wands can be used for many things outside of sex. When I’m having a rough back day, hubs will give me a back massage and use the Doxy to loosen up tight spots. Even my acupuncturist recommends people get one!

Okay, he recommends everyone learn how to masturbate properly, too. We get along super well.

Testing

I started the testing process on this toy within two hours of picking it up. I went back to my hotel room at Woodhull and got to work. Initially, I started working on neck knots and one thing led to another. After a nap, I was ready to head back to the conference itself.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that I orgasm very quickly from this wand. Like, wow, I have to work in some edging work if I want to last longer than two minutes. After struggling for a while with orgasms (thanks, multiple antidepressants!), it’s a nice problem to have. Even on days where other masturbation techniques don’t quite get me there, the Doxy does.

The motor in this wand is extremely powerful that direct clitoral stimulation is a bit much for me. I’ve found it much more comfortable to grind against the wand or push it up against that sweet spot between the vulva and vaginal opening. It’s great for foreplay, too, when used around the thighs, nipples, and other erogenous zones. I found it easy to hold and maneuver as long as I used my stronger dominant hand.

I’m super excited to start exploring some of the wand attachments out there, too. It’s a very new thing for me to get turned on looking at sex toy accessories, but damn.

If there’s one downside, it’s that it can get a little loud on some of the higher settings. I don’t know many things that can get up to 9,000 RPM and be completely silent, so it’s worth the noise.

Verdict

Each person is different, but I’ve never met someone who doesn’t love the Doxy. If you are looking for a reliable toy that can do double duty and give you some relief from chronic pain and muscle tension, there is literally no better thing out there than this wand. It’s accessible, beautiful, and has a permanent place by my bedside.

You can get the Doxy from most sites. If you snag one from Vibrant, remember that proceeds from your sale help fund the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains! You can snag this wand in black, white, pink, or purple.