Back in October, our pal Debbie wrote a guest piece about what it is really like to live with breast cancer and her choice to not undergo breast reconstruction surgery.
This morning, Debbie and some of her fabulous friends were featured on CBS’ Sunday Morning! They talked about their choices to remain flat and how their journeys have led to lifelong friendships.
You can find an accessible version of this story on the CBS News website. The YouTube clip is below.
A dear friend of the site, Felix, is working on gathering information for one of his classes about death and death practices.
It’s a very short survey, but an important one to take.
Can you help Felix out? Click here.
Today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.
In 2014, new diagnoses broke down like this:
New diagnosis rates are falling! Still, there is a lot of progress we have to make. One major issue is how there is so much stigma still associated with HIV/AIDS.
Take time to learn about HIV, living with HIV, and other resources. My favorites are patient activists Josh Robbins of I’m Still Josh and Brian Ledford of A Marine and HIV.
You also should check out episode 3 of our podcast with DJ D-REK.
Make sure that you take steps to protect yourself and others by using Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP), Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) within 3 days of unprotected genital fun, and make sure to use condoms or dental dams for all genital contact you have in non-monogamous situations.
Get tested by visiting this site, texting your zip code to 566948, or calling 1-800-232-4636.
If you want to help raise awareness, you can donate a Facebook post or tweet via Thunderclap or use the tags #NWGHAAD and #bestdefense on social media.
Facts in this post come from Womenshealth.gov, the CDC, and AIDS.gov.
Endometriosis is incredibly painful. I don’t live with it but have friends who do and the pain they experience is hard to even witness third-person.
Endo is a condition where the material that lines the inside of the uterus (endometrium) begins to grow outside the uterus. Usually, it seems to stay on the uterus, but it can affect other organs as well. This can create cysts, lesions, and scar tissue that has to be removed.
Pain increases with menstruation, bathrooming, and sexual activity.
Fertility is affected as well. Eggs may not be able to be released from the ovaries, may not be able to travel down the fallopian tubes, and may not be able to attach themselves to the uterine wall.
Treatments that address pain control, hormone therapy such as birth control pills, surgery, and hysterectomy may all be needed.
If you’d like to learn more about what endo feels like, please check out my pal Abby Norman. She has been featured by Glamour Magazine, Huffington Post, Seventeen, Forbes, The Atlantic, Bustle, and more. and has presented at conferences such at MedX and the Endometriosis Foundation of America Medical Conference.
In addition to being an excellent writer, she runs Ask Me About My Uterus. AMAMU discusses issues related to endo, miscarriage, birth control, menopause, pregnancy, menstruation, and more.
The Endometriosis Foundation of America is another great resource.
HEART Women & Girls is one of my favorite organizations. They are a Muslim-led organization that focuses on promoting sexual health, personal agency, equality, and awareness of sexual violence. By ending the silence of all these issues, we can help to end problems.
They are currently working to raise money in order to grow their virtual library. These beautiful resources are great for everyone, no matter your religious or spiritual background. Check out their birth control FAQs video below:
It’s so important, especially now, for us to support the Muslim community in these endeavors. HEART is a great organization with amazing resources that are so useful to so many. I, for one, am excited to see what amazing resources they come up with next.
What’s on the docket? Videos on anatomy, menstruation, talking to doctors about reproductive/sexual things, pap smears, and more!
Would you like to help donate? Visit HEART’s campaign on Launchgood.
Disclosure: As a Fun Factory affiliate, I receive sex toys each month in exchange for my honest review of them. This system in no way affects my opinions of these products. This review has affiliate links.
Today, I’ll be reviewing the Calice :
First, let’s check some facts.
The Calice is made of silicone, so don’t use silicone or oily lubes as they can degrade the toy/change the consistency of the material. It’s also totally waterproof which I love. It charges through a USB cord that connects magnetically to the bottom of the device.
For those interested in stats, the Calice is 6.5 inches long and 1.4 inches in diameter. There are also six different vibration types along with six different intensities.
I’ll be real – I chose this vibrator because of the unique shape it has. It’s enough like a dildo, the top like the head of a penis. Still, the interesting shape at the top and front was intriguing. It actually made it very easy to add lube as I was able to slide the lube down the notch in the shaft.
When I opened this up, I really was most excited for the cut-out at the top. I hope that it would make this a great tool for clitoris stimulation – and I wasn’t let down. That made it great not only for targeting the clit, but the nipples and even for edging (if you haven’t tried edging, I certainly highly suggest it). The dildo-like shape, combined with the soft material, really made this an exciting toy to use, too.
I honestly became turned on just by thinking about using this toy after the first use. It’s the first sex toy I’ve gotten turned on by before using! Since I have some arousal issues, that’s saying a lot, too!
As a vagina-haver, I’m unsure how this would work for penis-havers, but this seems like a toy that would very easily stimulate the prostate from the outside via the perineum/taint. The lack of a flared base means anal play is a little risky with this toy. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it for anal play on your own, but it could potentially be okay with a partner.
Because of my systemic juvenile arthritis, my hands don’t always work well – especially in awkward positions like using a vibrator. I love the shape of this vibrator, though. It’s easy to hold and the buttons to change vibration and intensity are accessible while using this toy. The buttons aren’t in the way enough where I accidentally changed anything I didn’t mean to, either, which is nice.
The power is great, even on some rough fibromyalgia days. For those unfamiliar, fibro can make common sensations – even clothing – hurt. When I’m having a fibro day, I can’t be touched, wear clothing, or even have contact with rougher surfaces. Since the Calice is so soft – and easy to control with regards to sensation and intensity – it’s the only vibrator I’ve been able to use during a fibro day that didn’t cause more pain.
All in all, this toy was incredibly accessible for me. The Fun Factory lubricant combined with the toy’s effectiveness, unique shape, easy button-based controls, and power really have turned me on to more vibrators. I highly suggest it for those who enjoy dildos, vibrators, and uniquely shaped sex toys.
You can shop the general Fun Factory site using my affiliate link or go right to the Calice. Shopping using these two affiliate links is a great way to support Chronic Sex in addition to getting yourself something fun.
I wish this wasn’t a conversation we had to have in 2017 but, alas, it is.
Many conferences and talks centering on disability don’t include those of us with disabilities. This is especially true when it comes to sex and intimacy centered spaces.
One of the most difficult parts of being a part of a marginalized group like having a chronic illness/pain condition/disability is that we are so often talked *about* without being included in on these conversations. This violates the basic ‘Nothing about us without us’ mantra that so many activists in the disability/illness/pain realm live by. It also serves to eliminate intersectionality when it comes to our experiences.
One barrier to our involvement in conferences and events is that there isn’t always a lot of press around the work we do; additionally, there isn’t one single place people can go to find us.
My pal Kate McCombs and I are aiming to change that. We are creating a directory of people with disabilities who speak on sex, sexuality, and other intimacy-related topics. You can check out those who have already added their names here. If you’d like to add your name, please fill out our Google Form.
This week, I talk with photographer, writer/author, and general badass: Lene Andersen. As you will hear, she is one of the reasons that Chronic Sex started. She is a wonderful advocate, activist, and pal. Keep in mind that this episode was recorded over the summer of 2016. That said, we mention a contest for SYLK that has since run and ended.
You can find links for Lene below:
We mention the following:
Visit us on SoundCloud, iTunes, or your favorite streaming app. While you’re listening, make sure to subscribe, rate, or comment on the Chronic Sex Podcast using whichever app you stream through. The more you do this, the more other people see this work.
As always, please support this work if you can. You can donate monthly on Patreon, give a one-time donation on iFundWomen, or visit the ‘support us‘ page above for other ideas. You can also volunteer to transcribe podcast episodes or a number of other things.
A quick note: Normally, Thursday evenings are our chat nights as well. I’m battling some migraine-related issues and unfortunately don’t have enough brain power to run chat tonight. Join us next week for chat – and in two weeks for a new podcast episode.
Remember how we have a Medium page?
There’s a new piece over there right now called ‘It’s Time to Call Out Sexism and Sexual Harassment in the Patient World.’
Check it out.
I am so beyond excited to share Andrew’s work. He is my cripple from another nipple and we’re practically in work-love.
Andrew runs two podcasts. Disability with Drew covers disability culture and really what types of things those of us who identify as disabled face on a day-to-day basis. Disability After Dark is all about
Andrew recently had me on Disability After Dark – come check out the episode here or on your favorite podcast streaming app.
Make sure to check out past episodes because both of these podcasts are amazing. You can also pop over to Patreon to support Andrew’s work.