Chronic Sex

Notable friend of both Dan Savage and Buck Angel, Elle continues to benefit from her closeness (real or perceived) with the two without doing anything to publicly call either of them out on their bullshit.

They've made some really uncool victim-blaming comments and refused to apologize for them. It's really upsetting, especially given their popularity around ethical nonmonogamy/sluthood.

Martha has a history of speaking over marginalized people; of speaking for them and not with them; and of seeking congratulations for her actions while ultimately causing harm. After creating the LoveAbilities conference, she refused to address issues and instead talked about Caz Killjoy and me - who co-wrote a piece concerned about the initial conference in 2020 - as though we knew nothing about the conference and had not spent several days digging into various issues, etc.

It always bothers me when I see another sex educator who has participated in consent violations. Reid is another in a long line. His apologies have left a lot to be desired, too.

He has gone through an accountability pod and completed justice work around this violation. I still suggest caution, but I'm an abuse survivor so I know there are biases there as well.

Dr. Ruth has made a number of victim-blaming statements in the wake of #MeToo. I've not followed her work since, so am unsure if she's apologized or changed.

I really wanted to like STT. They posted some shit stuff a while back and it got a lot of people rethinking supporting it. The account changed hands and many of us thought things would improve. As of April 2, 2018, though, they haven't. The account is still posting incredibly sex-negative, ableist things like those that discourage communication during sex and more. The most recent was from a site called Erotic Scribes which is full of bullshit that most sex educators fight against. Not a great move.

As of October 2021, STT is being run by Sssh For Women (not to be confused with Sh Women's Store who is elsewhere on this list). They are inviting people to guest host and, from what I've seen, doing a better job. I'm still cautious, though.

On June 4, 2018, they denied entry to a blind patron and their service dog in violation of the ADA. They issued an apology, promised change, and held a training on disability access for community businesses. I'm still cautious, but there hasn't been any new issue since then.

• The Stonewall Inn Refused Entrance to a Blind Person
• The Stonewall Inn Hosts Community Service Animal and Disability Access Training

They mishandle money, respond slowly, and treat people like shit. X

The SA has a long history of treating LGBTQ+ people like shit. They do this internally, through their officials system, and by turning away LGBT+ people - especially trans peeps - from their shelters and drug clinics. SA literally doesn't want queer people alive. They've kicked trans people out (with some of them dying as a result), kicked whole families out due to having a queer kid, force people to beg and pray, and more. If you're looking for better places to donate, check out these pieces on Them and NewNowNext.

HOWEVER, there are a lot of issues with access. For more conversation about this, see this Twitter thread.

Tristan is a huge name in sex ed and porn. However, she also engages in harmful rhetoric, including white fragility and refusing to see when her actions and comments are uplifting white supremacy - or how hypocritical it is for a white woman to teach workshops on unpacking race while getting paid for them.

• 'But What About Feminist Porn?' Examining the Work of Tristan Taormino (pdf)

Tristan is in the caution category as I have chosen to disengage with her over the last year-plus. That said, I'm unsure where she is on her journey.

When I attended the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in 2018, I was amazed and excited. What I ran into, though, wasn't awesome.

• S2E12: The Problem with Woodhull and Tantus
• Sexuality Conferences and the Myths of Accessibility
• Anti-Blackness and White Blindness: A Tale of Two Sessions at #SFS17

I wrote up a document about these issues and met with someone from Woodhull following the summit. After forwarding this document to essentially the entire board, I met with Mandy Farsace, who was in charge at the time of event planning. Over the course of our meeting, Farsace told me that Caz Killjoy - whom I recommended Woodhull work with on accessibility in the future as they are world-renowned for their accessibility work, especially around sexual health - was "too difficult" and intimidating to work with. I was also told that I should be mindful of who I associate myself with, lest I come off that way, too.

I was assured that they would work on issues. They supposedly were going to have an accessibility council the next year. From what I've heard, though, that was a shitshow as most people involved didn't have any accessibility experience... *insert a 'welp' face here*

Friends have tried to take on the arduous task of redoing how Woodhull looks at accessibility, but nothing has really changed. They've been met with apathy and hostility... which is, I think, a little funny since they want to talk a game that implies allyship at least.

I've placed Woodhull on the caution list because I want them to be better. I want to see change happen. Maybe I just needed to air out all the dirty laundry to get things going?

This company reached out to me inquiring about a sponsored post or ad on January 1, 2018. In looking at their site, I found that they sold a lot of toxic sex toys in addition to skeezy shit and gendering their toys. I sent back an email saying no and stating the reasons, only to get a barrage of emails from their employee Scott Melvin about, essentially, how I'm a bitch. When I brought this to the attention of the company on Twitter, I was mocked and then blocked. So, yeah, I'd avoid them.

We all know this brand. The problem is they sell toxic toys as well as items that benefit from bigotry and abusive methods. No, thank you.

eBay

• Supports autism speaks

Amazon

• Treats workers horribly

Here's a Twitter thread about why I won't say completely avoid Amazon for sex toys, but be mindful.

I suggest reading Epiphora's essay on this company. The short version is that they treat employees and bloggers poorly, terrible customer service, and more.

Listen, this company is shit. They're based on a pyramid scheme, sell toxic gear, and encourage a reinforcement of gender norms. Nah.

In addition to selling toxic toys that they claim are body-safe, they treat bloggers and reviewers like shit.

They have canceled workshops with sex educators because they are fatmisic. They then replied with shit answers. Click here for more.

Their social media is, generally, shit. In January 2018, they posted a meme relevant to the Aziz Ansari scandal. When called on it, they got extremely defensive to the point of blocking prominent sex educators (including myself) who pointed out the issue and gaslighting everyone else. They took down the photo, issued a shitty apology (literally: "Our attempt at humor was lost in the seriousness of the situation"), unblocked people, and then apologized directly to those of us who keep blacklists on our sites. They say that they're listening, learning on their feet, etc, but don't seem that receptive to concerns. If they can't handle sex educators pointing out an issue, they certainly can't handle others doing so - and probably need to hire or switch to a new social media person. There are a ton of people out there who will do social media for pay - and a million more resources on how to create your brand and not fuck it up. There's literally no excuse for this stuff. Maybe they'll change in the future, but I doubt it.

Both of these companies routinely engaged in transmisic activities, terribly bigoted comments, and slut-shaming. No thanks.

I should've known, based on the gendering of this company, that shit was gonna hit the fan at some point. They put up an article promoting misinformation about coconut oil, lube disintegrating sex toys, and promote their own store's lube. When notable sex bloggers pointed our issues with the post, responses included condescending comments, tone policing, and telling bloggers they're always far too negative.

They don't fill orders, refuse to issue refunds, and much much more. In October 2017, their physical locations were shut down. Owner Camila Klinger denies issues, citing angry customers as people who have personal vendettas against her and the companies... which is bullshit. Stay away - far far away.

This company has been notorious for using Jennifer Lawrence's likeness, using bigotry in their marketing campaigns, and selling toxic toys. Check out both Lilly and Epiphora's posts for more about this.

I've never used a Lelo product and honestly never will. Since I've not interacted with them, the reason I refuse to is their hiring of Charlie Sheen as a spokesperson for the Lelo Hex condom. Sheen has a history of abusing partners. This combined with the Hex's notorious breaking problem is scary. When bloggers brought up their concerns, Lelo responded like shit.

• 5 Things to Do with a Broken LELO HEX Condom That Don’t Involve Sex
• I’m a Survivor, and I Will Never Support LELO Again
• Hex, No – Why I’m Done With Lelo

This company held a horrible session on toxic sex toys at Woodhull in 2017 and recorded the session without authorization from Woodhull or the participants. They began to treat anyone questioning the issue like shit, too.

I used to have Tantus as an affiliate. At Woodhull in 2017, Tantus founder and president (and Woodhull board member) Metis Black

After the conference, Metis began tone policing multiple disabled people who raised concerns about accessibility issues, ableism, and eugenics on Twitter. Instead of stepping back and hearing our concerns - something that she is generally known for encouraging other brands to do and praising sex bloggers who speak up, even pointing this out during a session at the same conference - she continued to gaslight us. I dropped them as an affiliate that same day while at the airport. As of January 2018, Metis also blocked me on social media - something that coincided with me publishing this page. They also posted a really shitty STI-shaming 'joke' in March 2018.

• Twitter moment with info
• Tantus, Woodhull, and the Larger Sex Blogger Community
• Tantus employees are treated like shit
• And when it all goes to hell…

In May 2019, a former partner pointed out an issue to Metis about multiple comments she made about sex bloggers and educators that were antisemitic. Metis then encouraged her Facebook friends and followers to attack this individual, even liking and agreeing with comments that involved misgendering this person and making fun of the fact that they were transgender.

An anti-trans, antisemitic, ableist-led company isn't one anyone needs to support. They may have been revolutionary when they were started, but now they're behind the times.

I hate when I have to add companies I liked in the past, but both of these have participated in cultural appropriation. When people make comments about the issue, they're ignored. On top of that, Lovability has reposted victim-blaming stuff in the past without realizing or caring about the harm they're doing. One such post from Do The Hot Pants conflated all childhoods with abuse thereby reducing and belittling the experiences of those of us who are actually abuse survivors. After pointing this out for Lovability, I got no response. Going to the OP got me blocked from their IG. I'm beyond disappointed.

This company makes sex toys with silagel - something that's known to cause genital burns and infections. They also treat sex educators and bloggers terrribly.

On July 16, 2021, Felicity from Phallophile Reviews posted a review for multiple vaginal plugs. In writing her review, she used the term 'real women' to discuss who might enjoy these toys. When she was called out on this by multiple trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming sex educators, she changed this to 'real vaginas,' which was not better. She eventually did remove the word 'real' completely. However, she did not include a note on that review stating that she caused harm. She dirty deleted tweets about the situation. Additionally, she refused to engage in actual conversations with those of us who had pointed out the issue. Instead, she only responded to one person who essentially gave her platitudes and stated that she was being 'vilified.' For a Twitter thread on this, click here.

During this conversation, it also came out that Felicity refuses to acknowledge racial discrimination, believing that she doesn't have to do anything as a white person with thousands of followers across social media. Square Peg Toys fully supported Felicity during this time, liking her tweets explaining away her poor language decisions and refusal to engage in conversations around restorative justice and apologies.

There is a lot to say here. The biggest things I can say include bestiality, transmisia, racism, cultural appropriation, pedophilia, stealing toy designs, mistreating employees, and even more.
Links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

They steal content routinely from sex workers and then doxx sex workers who speak up and ask for content to be taken down. It happened to a friend of mine a few years ago and they're still worried about a stalker finding them because of it. Many don't feel they can speak up about stolen content because of the large monopoly. The tube sites that MindGeek owns do absolutely nothing to prevent users from uploading pirated content from other (non-MindGeek-owned) adult film studios. With a hand in Playboy and Wicked pictures, too, they have a large monopoly on the porn world. They're also using Comstockian laws to gather data on their users. Pay for your porn and avoid these sites. Learn more here, here, here, and here.

Updates

As of early 2020, Pornhub has been exposed to allow videos of rape and abuse – not just fantasies.

In December 2020, Pornhub purged ‘millions’ of unverified videos amid allegations of hosting child pornography. That same month, both Mastercard and Visa pulled their services from PornHub. According to the New York Times,

Pornhub declined to make executives available on the record, but it provided a statement. “Pornhub is unequivocally committed to combating child sexual abuse material, and has instituted a comprehensive, industry-leading trust and safety policy to identify and eradicate illegal material from our community,” it said. Pornhub added that any assertion that the company allows child videos on the site “is irresponsible and flagrantly untrue.”

Here are additional items from that same NYT article that echo what I wrote here in 2018:

Pornhub is owned by Mindgeek, a private pornography conglomerate with more than 100 websites, production companies and brands. Its sites include Redtube, Youporn, XTube, SpankWire, ExtremeTube, Men.com, My Dirty Hobby, Thumbzilla, PornMD, Brazzers and GayTube. There are other major players in porn outside the Mindgeek umbrella, most notably XHamster and XVideos, but Mindgeek is a porn titan. If it operated in another industry, the Justice Department could be discussing an antitrust case against it.

Pornhub and Mindgeek also stand out because of their influence. One study this year by a digital marketing company concluded that Pornhub was the technology company with the third greatest-impact on society in the 21st century, after Facebook and Google but ahead of Microsoft, Apple and Amazon.

And some new facts to share:

While Pornhub would not tell me how many moderators it employs, I interviewed one who said that there are about 80 worldwide who work on Mindgeek sites (by comparison, Facebook told me it has 15,000 moderators). With 1.36 million new hours of video uploaded a year to Pornhub, that means that each moderator would have to review hundreds of hours of content each week.

The moderators fast forward through videos, but it’s often difficult to assess whether a person is 14 or 18, or whether torture is real or fake. Most of the underage content involves teenagers, the moderator I spoke with said, but some comes from spy cams in toilets or changing rooms and shows children only 8 to 12.

“The job in itself is soul-destroying,” the moderator said.

Executives of Pornhub appear in the past to have assumed that they enjoyed immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which protects internet platforms on which members of the public post content. But in 2018 Congress limited Section 230 so that it may not be enough to shield the company, leading Mindgeek to behave better.

It has doubled the number of moderators in the last couple of years, the moderator told me, and this year Pornhub began voluntarily reporting illegal material to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. After previously dragging its feet in removing videos of children and nonconsensual content, Pornhub now is responding more rapidly.

It has also compiled a list of banned content. I obtained a copy of this list, and it purports to bar videos with terms or themes like “rape,” “preteen,” “pedophilia” and “bestiality” (it helpfully clarifies that this “includes eels, fish, octopus, insects”). Diapers are OK “if no scatophilia.” Mutilation depends on context but “cannot depict severing parts of the body.”

Pornhub has introduced software that supposedly can “fingerprint” rape videos and prevent them from being uploaded again. But Vice showed how this technology is easily circumvented on Pornhub.

I don’t see any neat solution. But aside from limiting immunity so that companies are incentivized to behave better, here are three steps that would help: 1.) Allow only verified users to post videos. 2.) Prohibit downloads. 3.) Increase moderation.

According to City News, “The company recently settled a lawsuit involving 50 women, including four Canadians, who alleged they were duped into taking part of a massive human trafficking ring.”

In October 2021, a story came out of a woman who has attempted multiple times to remove footage of her being sexually abused as a child from PornHub to no avail. She is now a part of a class-action lawsuit against the group. 

I was blocked by Dan a long time ago because I called out a transmisic thing he said. He's notoriously ableist, transmisic, anti-bisexual, racist, and victim-blaming AF.

Cross-cutting

• Use of T slur, anti-HIV pos

Ableism

• Even in renouncing some ableism, he engages in ableism
• “I reject the able binary”

Racism

• “I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color.” (link)
  • More on this here
• Dan is the editorial director of The Stranger. Ijeoma Oluo has documented how white they got under Dan’s leadership. It has not gotten better.
  • More from Oluo here
• Asian preference isn’t necessarily racist

Anti-bisexual

• Piece one
• Piece two
• Video showing Dan saying many identify as bisexual as a lie, like he did before realizing he was gay - calls it a waystation/phase on the way to gay or straight - also trivializes prison rape

Anti-asexual

• ”I appreciate the feedback, Stephanie, and I'm sorry I offended you. But... um... I couldn't help but think, as I read your letter, that your boyfriend is either a fool or a fag. But if it works for you guys—if a romantic relationship devoid of sexual attraction and activity works for you guys—then it works for you guys. Who am I to argue with success?” (link)
• “With that being the case, why would you even contemplate inflicting yourself on a normally sexual person? Why not go find another minimally sexual person? You'll be doing your minimally sexual self a favor, you'll be doing your future minimally sexual partner a favor, and you'll be doing all normally sexual persons everywhere a favor by removing two minimals—you and your future partner—from the dating pool.” (link)

Fatmisia

• Ban fat marriage
• Calls a reader 'lardass'
• Encourages someone cheat on his fat wife

Transmisia

• Insisting Jesse Singal isn't transmisic
  • Piece two
  • Piece three
• Dan and Buck Angel ‘joked’ about a trans man on one episode of Dan’s podcast (Episode #577 - November 14, 2017). (Note: the two are friends. How an alleged ally and a transphobic trans man are friends is beyond me.) They then engaged in attacking Bex Caputo for calling the issue out on Twitter. (link)
• Jokes about a politician being trans
• “Trans mafia”
• Tells trans man his relationship with another trans man is doomed instead of giving advice
• Being very cavalier and tongue-in-cheek about transmisia
• IDK what to say about this piece or this one, tbh

Rape Victim Blaming/Attacking

• “Finally, DRARS, I hereby withdraw my consent for you to read Savage Love. If you continue to read my column against my will, well, we all know what word to apply to your actions.” (link)
• “Your first priority in the wake of your assault had to be your own physical and emotional safety, of course, but your behavior toward your husband is both cruel and selfish.” (link)
• Questioning someone’s assault allegation: “As you will probably ignore the only sensible advice I could offer ("Run, LIFE, run!"), I'm not going to bother. Instead I'm going to pour a little poison in your ear: Have you bothered to confirm your lover's story? Your letter makes this woman's husband seem perfectly monstrous. In fact, he seems a little too perfectly monstrous. Have you entertained the possibility that you're being fed a massive load of shit, LIFE? Some cheaters invent elaborate tales of woe—the frigid shrew of a wife; the abusive husband—because the cheater wants to have her infidelities and her victim status too.” (link)

Virgin-shaming

• Link

Back when I was a baby trans, I thought Buck was amazing. He's gotten into a lot of toxic masculinity like mansplaining, purposefully misgendered other trans people (on Dan Savage's podcast btw), been transmisogynistic, racist, and ableist, and a lot more. He also claims to have created the 'first' trans sex toy which erases a lot of trans and GNC people's creations.

• Dan and Buck Angel ‘joked’ about a trans man on one episode of Dan’s podcast (Episode #577 - November 14, 2017). (Note: the two are friends. How an alleged ally and a transphobic trans man are friends is beyond me.) They then engaged in attacking Bex Caputo for calling the issue out on Twitter. (link)

He has been and continues to be abusive, transmisic, and misogynistic. Whether people try to call him in, call him out, or share educational items with him about his shitty behavior, he just goes off on them. On top of that, he's been abusive with people in person and continues to get invited to sex parties where he behaves inappropriately. UGH.

I don't know the full story, but he violated a friend's consent while they were in a very vulnerable illness state. He shared details of this interaction with others to shame my friend. He then has the nerve to still act like he's able to talk about rape, consent, and more. I don't fucking think so.

Cunning runs the Polyamory Weekly podcast. She also has engaged in harming BIPOC without recognizing her impact - and then doubling down or refusing to do so. She's engaged in a large amount of ableism as well, including mocking disabilities and promoting myths such as diabetes being caused by sugar intake. She's also friends with Dan Savage.

Dr. Jen has been asked multiple times to use inclusive language around sex and gender when discussing sexuality, anatomy, etc. She continues to refuse to do so.

I'm sharing text from a post that highlights a number of the issues here.

Hi! I'm making this post because I imagine many of you may have encountered content produced by Erika Lust. If you don't know who this person is, Erika Lust is a very influential director in the world of feminist pornography, and her company (particularly through the series XConfessions) is notable for creating high quality, sex-positive, "feminist" pornography. I've always previously enjoyed and respected her work, and I've seen her name and work pop up many times in this subreddit.

It was therefore truly shocking to discover how Erika and her company treated Rooster, a non-binary, queer, Black performer (they/them) after they spoke up about their sexual assault on the set of an Erika Lust shoot. Rooster's website has a very detailed description of what actually happened, including many links to articles and evidence of how their boundaries were violated. Honestly, it is deeply upsetting and disturbing that they have had to spend so much time and energy narrating what happened, and that their word has not been taken as enough. I have seen some of Rooster's work before, and they seem like a really genuine and kind person. It is so upsetting that their career has been derailed in this way.

Here are some of the main problems I see with how Erika Lust & her team handled this situation:

• The company has blacklisted Rooster since they started speaking out about this incident.
• The company has called Rooster an 'online troll' (!!!) for speaking publicly about their assault.
  • It's worth pointing out that both Erika and Rooster's rapist are white, cis, successful female directors. Erika's crew seems to be made up of largely white women. It's therefore super disturbing that Erika and co. characterize Rooster defending themselves and seeking accountability as aggression, e.g.: "online trolling by Rooster and other accounts continue and they start to attack other people I have worked with". This is classic victim blaming and gaslighting with a racist twist. Rooster has spoken eloquently about how Erika and co. leverage Rooster's race and gender to manipulate public messaging around this affair.
• XConfessions, Erika's brand, still hosts and profits off of many videos directed by Rooster's rapist, Olympe de G, including a video called 'The Bitchhiker' that Parker Marx (another popular performer people from this subreddit may recognize) called the most unethical shoot [he has] ever been on. Parker's testimony is a disturbing read, and he specifically states that he believes Olympe put him in unsafe (and illegal!!) positions to punish him for rejecting a relationship with her.
• The company outed Rooster's birth name -- which is both a breach of contract, and incredibly dangerous for any performer, let alone a Black and trans performer!!! W.t.f.

Especially in the wake of #MeToo and #BlackLivesMatter, it is just.... so disgusting to see a brand that specifically labels themselves as feminist and sex positive treat one of their most vulnerable performers this way. I chose to pay for Erika's work because I believe in a world where performers are respected, all survivors are taken seriously, incidents like this are deeply investigated and abusive directors are swiftly de-platformed. My only goal in making this post is to help like-minded folks make informed choices about which performers and platforms they support.

Edited to add that the company and Olympe also outed Rooster's birth name.... just WTF. Also edited to point out more explicitly how Erika and Olympe leveraged their privilege as successful white women to portray Rooster as the aggressor for simply refusing to stay silent about their assault and demanding accountability.

As of June 2021, the parties reached a joint agreement. Still, this is beyond fucked up and Erika will continue to stay on this list.

Jess constantly posts anti-trans sentiments including calling us irrational for asking her to use inclusive language. She's spent a lot of time ranting about me in particular in IG stories and on Twitter.

She assumed a friend who challenged her was trans and called them emotionally unstable for challenging her exclusion of trans folx AND assuming she's an expert on this bullshit. She regularly harasses BLM folks, asserting that her cause - to fix clitoral anatomy education - is more important. She also believes she's a victim of 'cancel culture,' when she calls folks TRAs (trans rights advocates, a derogatory term) and believes that folks like myself hate her or her message.

Multiple sex educators have tried to talk to her. She just winds up thinking she's smarter than everyone.

For more, a Twitter thread.

On July 16, 2021, Felicity posted a review for multiple vaginal plugs. In writing her review, she used the term 'real women' to discuss who might enjoy these toys. When she was called out on this by multiple trans, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming sex educators, she changed this to 'real vaginas,' which was not better. She eventually did remove the word 'real' completely. However, she did not include a note on that review stating that she caused harm. She dirty deleted tweets about the situation. Additionally, she refused to engage in actual conversations with those of us who had pointed out the issue. Instead, she only responded to one person who essentially gave her platitudes and stated that she was being 'vilified.' For a Twitter thread on this, click here. During this conversation, it also came out that Felicity refuses to acknowledge racial discrimination, believing that she doesn't have to do anything as a white person with thousands of followers across social media. Square Peg Toys fully supported Felicity during this time, liking her tweets explaining away her poor language decisions and refusal to engage in conversations around restorative justice and apologies.

Ru is transmisic AF, my loves. Growing up in the 90's, I wish it wasn't so - especially because he's one of the most visible queer people in the world. But he's harmful to the community. On top of it, his apology was to post a train-related flag instead of a trans flag and give this empty BS apology. *insert eye roll here* Receipts can be found here, here, here, here, and here.

This network hosts podcasts, but has stolen a number of them from notable sex educators and claimed these shows as their own or associated with them somehow. It's absolutely atrocious, especially considering they've violated laws and have notes on their site about stealing their content. Hypocrite much?

I wrote a whole post about it, but the tl;dr version is they're in bed with LELO and refuse to even talk about the issue. Instead, they wanna act like anyone raising concerns is a terrorist making demands. Their editorial group also looks like the Fox News women's bathroom line.

Instead of actually creating a good dating site and combatting stigma, PS is attacking writers who have pointed out issues in the past and tweeting things that make them sound like an abusive ex-partner than being actually helpful to anyone. They're condescending, rude, and aggressive.

This Montreal-based business claims it exists to 'help women' by helping them make their vaginas tighter using materials that have been proven to be unsafe. On top of that, Epiphora shared her disdain for the product on Twitter (sans tagging them) after they reached out to her, and they went off on her. You can read the shitstorm here.

The LoveAbilities festival was started by Dr. Martha Tara Lee (see above in the 'caution' section). Caz Killjoy and I co-wrote a piece highlighting issues with the conference.

For the 2021 event, Dr. Mitchell Tepper and Lorraine Stanley took over. It apparently was not until I re-highlighted the above article and discussed accessibility and other issues via Twitter that Tepper and Stanley were aware that there were multiple accessibility issues with the information contained on the site. Instead of truly listening to what I was saying, Tepper also reacted with the following attitude:

I had to highlight multiple times that I was uncomfortable with the ask of me to do unpaid labor without concern for anything going on in my life or the fact that I had zero (actually negative) capacity to do any of this work. Instead, I was met with an email to jump onto a Zoom call with Tepper and Stanley a few hours later - no questions about what might be best for my schedule, etc., but more of what felt like a demand to attend this meeting.

I replied with an email that, once again, broke everything I had already broken down into even smaller chunks. As of the time the festival took place, only a few of these issues had been addressed. There is still no alt-text with their social media images in addition to key points missing from the site, etc.

Tepper also took to policing my language use on Twitter around other issues instead of, IDK, addressing things I highlighted.

IDK what bothers me more - how Tepper did the very white cishet man thing and expected labor of me or how much it hurt to have much I'd heard about his harmful behavior towards others confirmed. There was one point where I wanted to be the Tepper of the chronic illness world, moving between doing academic and community work. Not anymore, not if it means I have to act like that.

Autism Speaks is a terrible organization. They promote eugenicist ideas, torture, and ABA conversion therapy to make autistics seem more allistic (or not autistic). If that wasn't enough (and it should be), they cater to parents and don't seem to care what actual autistics need, want, or have to say. You can find a round-up of posts against them here. Also, eBay and The Mighty both support A$.

This center famously tortures autistic people through ABA and shock therapy, the latter of which isn't even allowed in interrogations. Efforts to change the center's tactics and to get the FDA to ban shock therapy have, as of March 2018, failed.

Despite me and others speaking up about it, The Mighty continues to partner with Autism Speaks. You can read my correspondence with them here. They focus on inspiration porn, content that harms our communities, and won't pay writers. They chose to cater to parents mocking their autistic children as opposed to being a space for all of us to share things. They even threw people out of their contributor groups for speaking out and sharing their concerns. You can read more about this here, here, here, and here.

They provide ABA conversion therapy for autistics.

This organization is shit, pure and simple. They promote inspiration porn and refuse to respond to any concerns of whitewashing, anti-LGBTQ+ policies, super Christian focus, and lack of representation. Oh, and they trademarked the term 'invisible disabilities' and tried to take down other organizations around invisible disabilities - and refuse to address this issue, blocking those of us who ask questions.

This organization has a long history of racism and other bigotry. Their president Jennifer Laszlo Mizrahi made some very insensitive comments about race and the 2016 election. Additionally, the organization has a history of not including people with multiple marginalizations and promoting inspiration porn.

In June 2017, a piece I wrote about the Spoon Theory went up. In it, I told my own story about how finding ST helped me develop a common language with loved ones who didn't understand my health issues before. Unfortunately, CM and many of her 11k followers began attacking me without even reading the story. She claimed I was taking credit for ST and that I owed her both credit and money for essentially giving her free press on a major site. CM has since deleted some of these tweets due to the backlash she faced from many in the community. (I have screenshots for those interested.) This put into a new perspective the rumors I've heard over the years of her trying to pressure community leaders into joining her Younique team, threatening crafty peeps with Cease & Desist letters for using spoons/spoonie (which she can't even do as she didn't slap a trademark on this and spoonie came from the community), and more. She has no legal basis for sending C&D letters and these threats are baseless in the legal world unless you're using quotes from ST.

Rare disease organizations should be not shitty. They should recognize that they have an obligation to promote diversity, too. The EDS Society does not. They claim everyone can apply to volunteer, get help, and more with them - but the only photos they ever really show are of white people. On top of that, their higher-ups argue with advocates and activists on social media, refuse to be transparent about monetary issues, and are generally shitty. Stay away.

This organization is rooted in false morality, claiming that pain patients are better than addicts. I get the frustration as I've had chronic pain since I was 5 (1993) BUT there is no reason to promote stigmas against our fellow patients. There's nothing wrong with fighting for better pain management efforts, but we don't do that by throwing those who struggle with substance use under the bus. It lacks empathy for others, and my many conversations with PNA supporters just continue to highlight that issue more and more.

I've actually done some work with this org, sharing information about their walks to fund a physical fibro healthcare center. As of Memorial Day weekend 2018, they put up a photo appropriating indigenous US culture while discussing being a fibro warrior. I'm waiting to see how this pans out and will update further. As of June 9th, that photo is still up. They're put up information asking for private communication around mistakes, and that's not being accountable.

Multiple therapists within NDT are transphobic and will openly choose to 'debate' issues like whether or not trans athletes should have their own category to compete in with their transgender patients.

This is a Stanford University conference that I've attended twice. Unfortunately, it's grossly unorganized and has allowed a sexual predator to continue attending despite multiple attendees raising concerns. Organizers of the conference continue to associate with said predator, denying knowledge of his actions from 2013 until fall 2017. Those involved with the conference also dropped me like a hot potato once I started sharing my story with this individual because it didn't paint MedX well. At all. I've become persona non grata with them after pointing out these issues, but they continue to interact with this predator.

This Seattle paper has run anti-trans propaganda and is run by Dan Savage.

On June 9th, 2018, a patron overheard someone at the LA location being told that they should not come to Pride if they're disabled. Chris Barnes of the NYC location messaged me, told me it was BS, and told me to take my personal social media post down. When I initially wrote this, I was waiting for the LA location to reach me via email but doubtful that Chris passed along that information. He continued to comment on my personal FB post with positive propaganda-like posts to somehow prove FS is a good company, all the while ignoring a boundary I asked him to keep.

And, no, the LA office did not ever reach out to me.

This FB page has a history of being ableist, racist, transmisic, and much much more. They've been shut down several times and complain each time that it's from 'terrible' trans rights activists who have a vendetta... which is incorrect.

They're standing with Ryan Seacrest who has been accused multiple times of sexual harassment in the wake of #MeToo. Katy Perry, a current judge, also violated a kid's consent in March 2018 by kissing him when he thought he was going in for a cheek kiss... and then using it as a marketing ploy.

They've published some bullshit from an autism 'mom' and published a shitty response to autistic advocates who, rightfully, don't want shit like 'Jesus cured my son's autism' published.

They won't allow anti-TERF shirts to be printed because they believe TERF is a slur - and won't listen to people's anger over the issue, either. Link - Oh, and now Redbubble is doing it, too.

They won't allow anti-TERF shirts to be printed because they believe TERF is a slur - and won't listen to people's anger over the issue, either. (link)

While I had a great time attending the Playground Conference in Toronto, the hotel uses a 'signature scent' throughout their spaces. Having asthma means I had multiple asthma and allergy attacks during my stay. A friend who has a mast cell disorder had multiple reactions as well. After getting the hotel to shut down the scents (after claiming they couldn't), they then told us they couldn't discount our stay at all because the scent spreaders had 'been off all week.' Which is complete bullshit. We contacted both Holiday Inn and IHG via Twitter and both were incredibly dismissive, asking us to work with hotel staff who were lying to us instead of helping. This extra pisses me off because I used to run a front desk at a hotel. Helping people is not that hard - especially when it'll save you the PR nightmare of having people nearly die in your hotel. IHG stopped responding to me when I said the hotel wouldn't even talk to us about a discount and didn't care that we could've died in their Toronto Downtown Centre location. Eventually, they gave us a free night - after weeks of conversations. If you have allergies or reactions? Stay far away.

July 2018 update: The hotel has declined to hold the conference now due to those of us with accessibility needs causing a fuss. It's some bullshit.

They have a terrible history of customer service, including enlisting authorities to beat and drag people off their flights, murdering animals by forcing passengers to place them in overhead bins, and being shit over and over and over again to disabled passengers. I've had my own run-ins with them, from deciding they don't have to preboard disabled peeps to them refusing to do anything when they canceled a flight on my way to my nephew in the ICU - they refused to cover any of the extra charges I incurred driving from a further away airport late at night and being forced to rent a fancy car from said airport because it was all they had left. I never even received a reply from them, and that was in 2015.

I wrote a Twitter thread highlighting issues with BetterHelp and Talkspace, both companies that have been fined by the FTC and regularly known to have therapists who push personal beliefs.