Category: review

Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Gen Review

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

I bought the Satisfyer 2 Pro on my own but do share an affiliate link at the end of the post.

Satisfyer Pro 2 Review with picture of Satisfyer Pro 2 in a teal & light wood shelf

A few weeks into the pandemic, I got a gift card and decided to pick up my first air-pulse toy. I’ve been told these are must-have toys by fellow sex educators and others but I’ve had some concern about the often-gendered nature of the toy. But, look, it was time for a change.

One of these reasons I’ve been so excited about this toy is the slight bottom growth I have from testosterone. Despite reading reviews like those from Erika Lynae, I had a feeling this could lead to some pretty intense orgasms, but I was underprepared.

Anyway, what are the details?

  • Non-contact pressure-wave technology to provide feelings of suction and pulsations, similar to the sensations you feel during oral sex
  • 11 intensities
  • Waterproof up to a meter for 30 minutes
  • Quieter than the previous model
  • Larger & wider head than the previous model for better coverage
  • Scroll feature instead of cycling through like in the old model
  • Rechargeable via a magnetic charger
  • Easy to clean.

For more comparing this to previous Satisfyer models, check out Miss Ruby Reviews’ post.

The Bad

I often forget to charge the toy, but that’s my issue.

The idea of getting a full seal with the toy around a clit is a little difficult. I appreciate the wide mouth, but also wonder if it would be better to have interchangeable mouths instead.

I’ll be honest – until I started writing this review, I had no idea the Satisfyer had eleven intensities. I usually stick to the bottom 3-4 and orgasm pretty quickly. After really putting in the effort, I was able to withstand all 11 intensities – though not necessarily for long…

The Good

That said, the intense vibrations may help people who struggle with sensation issues reach orgasm. What works for one person might not work for another, and I’m really glad there is a large amount of variety in sex toys. That range gives us accessibility, and that’s wonderful. The dynamic between this Satisfyer and similar toys seems similar to me to the dynamic between the Doxy and other wands. Some of us like or need extra intensity, and some of us don’t.

Speaking of accessible, the handle is great. I’ve not run into have days where I struggle to use this toy. It’s also not caused any subluxation or dislocation.

It’s a sleek, pretty toy. The color is great. The controls and charging all work really well. It’s super easy to clean.

As a trans masculine person with a little bottom growth (AKA the clitoris enlarging from testosterone), these orgasms are intense. I believe they would be for anyone without bottom growth. I know that the growth has allowed me more access to the interesting sensations of the Satisfyer since my clit gets slightly more surrounding than someone else’s might.

The Extra Fun

Y’all know that I usually recommend against buying toys on Amazon. There can be shady stuff that goes down. I wanted to share this review from Goddess Divine, though, because it’s beautiful and perfect:

This rose gold, silicone tipped beauty will make you feel like the Queen you were always meant to be.
You set this bad boy into position and it stays. I’m talking hands free. You can watch your porn, eat a snack, browse Netflix, knit a sweater, whatever you want.
Until 30 seconds later. When you approach orgasm numero uno. It’ll be small but powerful. You’ll de-clit this so fast you won’t even remember what you were doing. Catch your breath. Then think to yourself “just one more won’t hurt.”
A minute later, numero dos.
By the time you hit number 3, your soul will seperate from your body like some Doctor Strange move.
Now you’ve reached, the need-an-Excorism level.
Palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, weirdly craving spaghetti.
You’ll become your biggest cheerleader.
“You’re the freaking champion. You’re going to cum. You deserve this. You freaking know you do.”
“Just one more orgasm, then you’re done.”
*orgasms*
maniacal laughter “Girl, you know I was lyin. Go again, you bad mamma jamma.”
If you’ve called yourself the champion at least once, you’ve reached the winners circle of masturbation. It’s a small club. Growing by the day thanks to this suction, wave-length, science vibrator.
Another word of cautionIf you think at any point “weird, feels like I can poop right now.” DE-FREAKING-CLIT. You will undoubtedly poop yourself. Also, you may passout. I maaaay be speaking from experience.
Proceed with caution.

She’s not the only person who has had their life changed by this toy. One review is from someone who hasn’t orgasmed in a long time due to meds who finally has them again. Another called it a soul snatcher. From the hilarious to the heartfelt, reviews of this toy across the internet are mostly positive.

It’s also led a lot of people to finally being able to squirt! Since this is definitely a goal for me, it’s one of the main reasons I bought this toy.

The Verdict?

If you have a clitoris, consider getting this toy. It’s something that I’ve had for a few months and picked up rather cheap, but would probably save in an emergency.

You can pick up the Satisfyer Pro 2 from Peepshow Toys where you can save 10% using the code CHRONIC.

Hot Octopuss Digit Review

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

I received the Digit from Hot Octopuss in 2019 in exchange for a review.

a black bulb toy sits on a teal/light wood/purpleish shelf with white text overlaid: a chronic sex review | hot octopuss digit review

After enjoying the Queen Bee and writing for Hot Octopuss once, I jumped at the chance to review the Digit, their answer to a bullet vibrator.

Hot Octopuss describes the Digit as:

“At Hot Octopuss we believe in everyone’s fundamental right to sexual pleasure and expression. Too often we remain silent, unable to seek out the sex – including masturbation – that’s most enjoyable for us without fear of judgment. With that, we are proud to debut DiGiT – a sleek and wearable finger vibe that looks more like a custom piece of jewelry than a sex toy. Great solo or you can let your partner take control. DiGiT is set to supercharge your solo or partnered sessions. Coming in at 69 USD, 69 Euros and 59 GBP, DiGiT, as with all Hot Octopuss products, is set to change people’s perceptions of how sex toys should look and function.”

The toy is black and made of both silicone and plastic. There are 5 vibration modes and 5 speeds. It is waterproof and meant to be utilized only with water-based lubricants. Being relatively small, it charges via a USB-to-aux cable. The aux end plugs directly into the toy. After roughly 2 hours of charging, it can run for 40 minutes.

Now, let’s dive into my thoughts about the Digit and some overall information about Hot Octopuss.

The Good

Hot Octopuss is a company that I really enjoy. As a part of a site redesign, they’ve built a button where you can see their site without gendered terms. They’ve also built pages for accessibility-related issues, erection issues, LGBTQIA, and aging.

The Bad

This particular toy has these rings that go around your fingers when you use it. For me, these rings – which are plastic – were very hard. They have a little give in their size but not much, making it not super accessible.

a photo of the digit against a white wall

One way to address this would be to utilize a different type of material for the rings, perhaps one that’s poseable.

On another accessibility note, this toy is not the easiest to maneuver. It’s not built for someone who struggles with reach at all. It’s also very difficult to change the speeds and patterns. My left shoulder regularly dislocates, and I really don’t need toys that can easily make that happen, you know? If you look at the picture above, those small indents near the handle are the controls. I would have really preferred something with raised buttons, if not something that could connect to an app.

I also feel like another drawback to this toy is the charging mechanism. Plugging something into a hole in the actual toy, especially one this small, feels like a recipe for potential disaster.

As far as the function of the toy itself, it wasn’t awful but I also didn’t find it anything incredibly wild or wonderful.

The Verdict?

If you are hypermobile or struggle with hand dexterity, I suggest you skip this one. There are bullet vibrators that are easier to control if you’re looking for something similar.

You can pick up the DiGiT from Hot Octopuss.

Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator Review

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Je Joue recently sent me several sex toys to review with my partner. This review is one of four to come.

white text - A Chronic Sex Review | Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator - over a photo of a pink Mimi on a teal and light wood shelf

A new week brings a new Je Joue review. This time, I’m reviewing the Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator. Check out the vid for some stats and facts straight from Je Joue themselves:

The Repeats

A number of issues with the Mimi are just like those I discussed in the Mio review. this toy poses some intense accessibility issues. The buttons are once again very small and hard to control while using the toy. They are more accessible for a partner, at least. There’s no handle or easy way to hold this toy. It legitimately hurts my hands to try. I nearly subluxed my shoulder trying to do it on a good hand day and still couldn’t get a good angle.

The same issues with the app, texture, and chargers remain.

The Bad

The very tip of the toy is just silicone. While that makes it soft and somewhat pliable, it also doesn’t feel like it carries much vibration with it. Between that and the many, many options for vibration intensity and pattern, it can actually be difficult to register the changes the buttons bring. I had to try it on my tongue to figure it out, and that’s not a great sign.

The Good

I really didn’t have a lot to say about this toy from a positive angle. It was weak enough that, even using it partnered, it didn’t get me off without combining it with a penetrative toy, too.

The Verdict?

Quite honestly, this was a pretty mediocre toy. If you orgasm relatively easy from vibrations, you may still like it – as long as you have long arms or abled hands.

If interested, you can pick up the Mimi from Je Joue here.

Mio Vibrating Cock Ring Review

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Je Joue recently sent me several sex toys to review with my partner. This review is one of four to come.

purple/teal/blue/peach graphic: Chronic Sex | My Oh Mio | A Je Joue Mio Vibrating Cock Ring Review

The Mio Vibrating Cock Ring is one of the more attractive cock rings on the market. It’s pretty and doesn’t necessarily ‘look’ like a sex toy. If you haven’t noticed, that’s something that a lot of brands are trying to do lately. Here are some stats:

Generally speaking, I don’t review products that are heavily gendered like Je Joue can be. I see lots of sex educators partnering with them, though, and wanted to see how accessible these toys are.

Unfortunately, the answer is not very accessible at all.

The Good

The patterns are nice. They allow for a change in intensity that other cock rings may not offer.

It’s pretty! And it’s soft…

The Bad

Although, that softness means it picks up every single hair within a 5-mile radius. These really should have come with bags.

This toy is really thick where the motor is. That combined with the ungodly amount of stretch in this toy means it’s almost impossible to keep it on, especially around both the base of the penis and testicles. A less plasticized silicone should have been used here.

While all the Je Joue toys charge via USB, not all chargers can be used with all toys. Therefore, you really have to keep the charger and toy together. That’s just not feasible for most people.

At $109, this is an expensive cock ring. Because of the cost, it’s out of the reach of a lot of people.

The Even Worse

Je Joue has an app that you can use to control their toys. The problem is this app is basically unusable. It crashes, disconnects from toys, and isn’t user-friendly. It’s hard to tell which setting you’re on without the app, too. With some settings, it’s easier to tell by the very buzzy sound than by feel.

There are a ton of reviews of how bad the app is and yet there seems to be no focus on improving it. All this despite the fact that they boast about the app!

Without the app, it’s very hard to change settings while the Mio is in use. Even when it’s not, it’s hard to change through the settings. The buttons aren’t very easy to use. They’re also placed where they will pick up every hair and any amount of liquid. The seam being placed where it is does the same thing while also making it a little uncomfortable for everyone involved.

The Verdict?

Quite frankly, I haven’t touched the Mio since we tested it. It’s gone in the misfit bag of sad sex toys where it will forever stay.

Review: Sola Sync

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Between my divorce last year and a million other things going on, I’ve fallen way behind on posting reviews. That changes now, with this inaugural Reviews Day Tuesday post. Stay tuned for more reviews!

photo of the sola sync - a purple wand style sex toy with a round separate remote control against a turquoise comforter

A while back, I picked up the Sola Sync as a present to myself. I don’t normally buy a ton of toys since I get to test a lot, but I really wanted this one.

Before I dig into my thoughts, here are the Sync’s stats:

  • Made of silicone with a satin finish
  • Flexible massage head
  • 10 vibrating functions, 5 multi-speed options, and 5 unique patterns
  • Wireless remote
  • The wand is waterproof (but not the remote)
  • AC/USB charger
  • LED indicator on toy and remote
  • Ergonomically designed
  • Up to 1.5 hours of play on a single charge
  • Comes with a storage pouch that’s lint-free and antibacterial
  • 5-year warranty

There are some toys that I just can’t bring myself to touch again because they’re far too gendered. Thankfully, this toy is so incredibly soft, both in touch and look, without being overtly and exclusionarily femme. From the first time I saw this toy at Woodhull in 2017, I knew it was something that I would enjoy. Between the ergonomic design, the remote, and the absolutely gorgeous color, I couldn’t get it out of my head and had to have it. The Sync is also the softest toy I’ve ever touched. It was one of the few toys I could consistently use while dealing with intense pelvic floor pain.

The remote addressed one of my least favorite things about other wands like the Doxy – removing the issue of having to fumble with buttons while you’re close to orgasm. The number of times I’ve turned off the Doxy or Magic Wand while using it on myself or others? Way too many. With the Sync? Once or twice.

Plus, no pesky cords restricting you to an outlet!

I bought this before I bought a Hitachi Magic Wand. For those who have utilized the Magic Wand, the Sync:

  • Is slightly buzzier at the lowest level
  • Is easier to hold due to lighter weight and ergonomic design
  • Has a head that seems to diffuse vibration easier
  • Is easier to find buttons on the actual device
  • Comes with a remote
  • Has higher settings are more directed and powerful than Magic Wand in some aspects
  • Offers more stimulation options (e.g., for edging, etc.) due to head design

As someone who has gotten more and more adventurous, one of the other things I appreciate about the Sync is that it’s easier than other toys to insert it into orifices. It’s honestly the one wand toy that I could see using – with a partner – anally.

The one thing I wish was slightly different is the charging system. The power source is a USB, but it connects to this toy via aux jack. For me, that allows far too much opportunity for potential charging issues due to buildup of dust, lube, etc. Due to that, this is a toy you absolutely need to clean every single time you utilize it – no letting it possibly sit overnight, etc.

I wouldn’t mind a longer use time for the charging time, too, but that’s a very minor issue.

The verdict? Get this toy!

Honestly, this is one toy that I feel like everyone should own. It’s incredibly accessible from a physical standpoint, especially with the remote. It has an amazing range and variety of vibrations available to use. Plus, it’s so gorgeous in design that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to leave it out on a shelf in my bedroom permanently

You can get your own Sola Sync from Peepshow Toys.

Review: A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni & Tristan Jimerson

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

This book came out earlier this year and I’ve been dying to check it out.

cover of the book

Archie is non-binary while Tristan is a cis dude. After being friends for a long time, Archie’s pronouns changed and Tristan happily changed his language. As any good ally should, he also has done a lot of work to help others learn about pronouns.

I’m a big believer in people learning better when they’re having an enjoyable time and laughing. The two friends go over pronoun basics in a hilariously snarky way, and I feel like it’s a great way for newbies to get a handle on using they/them pronouns.

The two have a great back-and-forth about one of the most common questions people have when they’re asked to use other pronouns:

“Now, one might be asking, why would someone choose to use gender neutral pronouns? There are a huge list of reasons, but the truth is — it doesn’t stinkin’ matter! You aren’t owed an explanation or reason for someone wanting to use different pronouns. It’s your responsibility as a decent human being to learn and use whatever pronouns they ask you to.” [pgs 19-20]

Archie talks about how difficult it is to be misgendered every single day. They liken it to having a brick added to their backpack with each misgendering.

BIG SAME.

It’s so tiring to see people just assume others are a part of the binary. Then again, I remember people don’t have all the same information or education I have had.

The pair also goes into how great it would be to have every group or personal introduction include pronouns. The more we can normalize talking about pronouns, the better we can help everyone learn about them.

When someone is being misgendered around you, you should move to correct that. First, it might help to have a preliminary convo with your non-binary or gender nonconforming pal about how they want that handled. Some of us aren’t out in certain aspects of our lives.

Finally, Archie talks about how hard it can be to come out as a non-binary person. They even touch on cutting toxic people out of our lives.

Verdict

All in all, this is the perfect book to snag to give to important people in your life to explain pronouns. While the focus is on they/them, you could easily ask others to read this with your pronouns in mind. It’s a must-read, especially for allies looking to support us.

You can snag the book on Amazon, Smitten Kitten, or wherever else you pick up books.

Review: Gaelynn Lea’s ‘Learning How to Stay’

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

As fun as it can be to review sex toys, I love reviewing all kinds of things. I’m incredibly lucky to have fallen into an interesting space where I get to review sexuality-focused gear. I’ve loved reviewing a wide range of other things. I will say, though, that it’s been a few years since I reviewed an album.

Yikes… okay, it’s been a decade. This is what happens when you start getting close to middle age, kids.

Thankfully, my friend Gaelynn Lea offered her new album – Learning How to Stay – in exchange for my thoughts about it.

First off, if you don’t know who Gaelynn is – or why we’ve connected – this video is mandatory viewing.

I apologize for the lack of subtitles. TedX is notorious for that, even when they’ve had D/deaf and hard of hearing speakers.

Simply put, Gaelynn is amazing. Her music brings in the coolest mix of celtic notes, folksy melodies, and amazing harmonies.

Continue reading “Review: Gaelynn Lea’s ‘Learning How to Stay’” →

Review: Bi Stronic Fusion

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo of a purple vibrating dildo with a butterfly shaped nub against grey sheets with black text: " Review: Bi Stronic Fusion " and " Chronic Sex "

Fun Factory gave me the Bi Stronic Fusion for free in exchange for an honest review.

The Stronic line from Fun Factory is supposed to deliver a hands-free experience. It’s a self-thrusting toy that vibrates internally, too. This could be a game changer for many people who need something hands-free. Did Bi Stronic Fusion deliver? First, let’s get into the basics.

The Basics

The Bi Stronic Fusion is about 8.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. There’s a butterfly-like shaped dongle that’s meant to stimulate the clitoris.

It’s safe for butt play. You can use it underwater and get it as wet as you like. Like many Fun Factory toys, it’s rechargeable. Of course, it’s body-safe as well – this particular model is made of silicone with a plastic handle where the charging port and controls are.

A Word of Warning

The thrusting comes from using magnets. As such, this isn’t a safe toy for pacemaker owners. While they didn’t go through this in any promotional material, I would assume this could be uncomfortable for those with genital piercings or hip replacements, too.

Testing

I’ve had this toy for a few months. Honestly, I wanted to love it so I kept putting off writing a review. I hate to say it, but I wound up disappointed.

One thing I noticed that’s neither a pro or a con – because the toy thrusts, you need to use more lubrication than you might with a non-thrusting toy. Don’t learn it the hard way like I did, folx.

There are 64 different combinations of vibrations. With that many options, it’s actually hard to find the two settings I enjoyed – especially if using it at the same time. With only the two control buttons, there’s no good way of finding the setting aside from going through them all. If there were fewer settings, this toy would probably be more enjoyable. In fact, the few Fun Factory toys I dislike usually come from having too many options.

The clitoris nub was not well placed. If I wanted clitoral stimulation, I had to bend the nub which rendered the hands-free claim incorrect.

As for wanting to love a hands-free toy… this isn’t hands-free. Self-thrusting or self-pulsating, sure, but you do need something to stop it from sliding away. Could you use your thigh muscles instead of your hands? Sure. That’s still not something that’s accessible to people I thought might be able to benefit from this toy.

I try to test in so many conditions. In every single one of them, I wished this toy did more.

Verdict

I love Fun Factory as a company, but a lot of their toys wind up hit or miss for me. The Bi Stronic Fusion was, sadly, a miss.

Review: Real Nude Ergo Silicone Suction Cup Dildo and Mini Silicone Suction Cup Dildo by Blush Novelties

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

rectangle graphic with pink on left with yellow and white text: " Review: Real Nude Ergo Silicone Suction Cup Dildo and Mini Silicone Suction Cup Dildo by Blush Novelties Chronic Sex " and a photo of two indigo dildos on the right

Disclaimer: I was given these products for free in exchange for my honest review.

It’s been ages since Peepshow Toys sent me these two Blush dildos to review. Now that my pelvic pain is mostly under control, it’s nice to get back to doing reviews.

And having orgasms without wanting to die.

You know, the little things.

The Basics

Both dildos are beautiful and matte. They’re made of silicone with a suction cup on the end. Both also come with a storage pouch which is good because they pick up hair like there’s no tomorrow. There is a small bump where the testicles would be along with some small veiny features, a little urethra, and a soft head.

The larger dildo is 7.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. The mini is 7.2 inches long and 1.3 inches wide.

Testing

I’m not gonna lie – half of testing was singing into the dildos like microphones to Bob’s Burgers’ songs or figuring out how much I could bend them. The silicone is really fun to play with, especially combined with a harder center.

I tested these with Good Clean Love’s CaraGold lube. It’s no longer in stores as they’re revamping the formula after some issues. I’ll definitely let y’all know when it’s back in stock!

Going into this, I thought the smaller one would be more of my thing. After all, I haven’t been using larger insertable toys lately. I actually really enjoyed them both! I could see where the smaller one might feel a little irritating for some people since it’s an irregular size.

Both dildos felt really soft and comfortable. I actually laid there for a while and was incredibly comfortable.

Verdict

I really enjoyed both dildos. Their texture and pliability is something I haven’t seen in a ton of other dildos. Maybe I won’t give up on them after all!

You can grab both the regular and the mini at Peepshow Toys.

Don’t forget – you can save 10% on Peepshow orders using the code CHRONIC.