A couple of notes:
The majority of books links shared are Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn commissions from qualifying purchases made through links in this post at no additional cost to you.
While I’ve shared some resources that use the shorthand ‘poly,’ Polynesian folks also use that shorthand and have asked for the community to use PolyAm versus poly to help them connect with their community.
Multiple people within the ENM community are incredibly problematic. I have included some of their resources, but please note the following people are on the Blacklist if you’d like to review more information: Janet Hardy, Cunning Minx, Tristan Taormino.
The Basics
- What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy?
- What Is an Open Relationship?
- What Is Polyamory?
- What is Compersion?
- Is Polyamory a Choice?
- 5 Facts about polyamory and consensual non-monogamy
- Non-Monogamy and Me
- Non-Monogamous Relationships
- Introducing the Relationship Escalator: What It Is and How to Get Off It
- Polyamorous Relationship Structures
- Polyamory: The love of many
- Types of Consensual Non-Monogamy
- Solo Poly Without Hierarchy
- From Monogamish to Relationship Anarchy: a Widening Poly Spectrum
- Understanding Consensual Nonmonogamy
FAQs & Experiences
- A therapist, a lawyer, and a sex educator answer our questions about polyamory
- Are poly and sex-positive people really "obsessed with sex"?
- Are Queer People Less Likely To Be Monogamous?
- Biggest Non-Monogamy Fails with Pup Amp, Dr. Liz, & Robin Wilson-Beattie
- My Problem With Monogamy - Comfort Instead of Happiness
- Polyamorous relationships: When three isn't a crowd
- Polyamory and Feminism
- Polyamory Made My Marriage Better—And It Might Make My Divorce Better, Too
- Sexually Transmitted Infections in Polyamorous Relationships
- Solo Polyamory: Isn’t That Just Dating?
- The Pleasure Dome: On Nonmonogamy and Casual Sex
- Why I’m Still in the Polyamory Closet
- Willow Smith Explains Why She Prefers Polyamory Over Monogamous Relationships
Problems in the Community & Help
Problems
- 5 Harmful Myths the Ethically Non-Monogamous Community Needs to Address
- 5 Problems With the One Penis Policy
- Nope! We're Not Monogamous - Episode 9: Decolonizing Polyamory & Relationship Anarchy
- Partner Abuse In Poly Communities
- Polyamory and Couple Privilege
- Polyamory Is Messy, Joyful, Not for the Faint of Heart
- Slippery language and couple-centric polyamory
- Multiamory Podcast: Privilege and Polyamory
Help
At The Intersections
Disability
- 7 Steps To Healthy Polyamory (When You Have Anxiety)
- Disability and polyamory can be complicated: here’s why.
- Duff the Psych podcast episode - Episode 113: Polyamory, Family Issues Due to Bipolar, Living with a Disability
- Here Are 7 Reasons Why Polyamory Is More Difficult When You’re Disabled
- How Polyamory Helped Me Advocate For My Needs As A Disabled Person
- I’m disabled and married – but I also date other people
- Poly and Crippled: When Your Other Partner is Your Disability
- PolyAm Radio episode 13 - Polyamory and Disability
- Polyamory Weekly podcast - PW 409: Poly and disabilities
- Ready for Polyamory podcast - Season 3 Episode 1: Polyamory, Disability & Accessibility
Race
- Five Things White People Can Do to Make Their Poly Communities More Welcoming for People of Color
- BIPOC Voices in Nonmonogamy
- Polyamory Can Be Liberating For People Of Colour, Until Racism Gets In The Way
- Multiamory Podcast: Community Diversity and Tokenism with Crystal Byrd Farmer
- Queers Next Door podcast - Episode 33 - Check Your Privilege: Racism in Polyamory
Additional Resources
General
- 5 Tips for Safely Navigating the Non-Exclusive Dating World
- 10 realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships
- Challenging Societal Expectations of Friendships & Relationships: Queerplatonic Relationships
- Multiamory Podcast: Equal and Equitable Relationships
- Multiamory Podcast: Scheduling and Productivity
- Poly Pocket: Making Relationships Up As We Go
- Relationship Anarchy Discussion Guide
- The bigger picture of polyamory
- The Most Vulnerable Part of Being Pregnant and Polyamorous
- The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy
- What healthcare professionals need to know about poly and kink
Books
If you're purchasing a book (or a few!), consider doing so through Bookshop. As an affiliate with them, I get a little kickback - at no extra cost to you. Plus, they give proceeds to locally-owned bookstores to help them survive!
- Building Open Relationships: Your hands-on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond! by Dr. Liz Powell
- This is the best book for those new to the concept with a ton of exercises to work out jealousy, rules, etc.
- Love’s Not Color Blind by Kevin Patterson
- Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
- Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
- Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
- Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships by Meg-John Barker
- Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy & secure in an open relationship by Kitty Chambless
- Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol
- Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life by Amy Gahran
- The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton
- The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola
- The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival by Kathy Labriola
- The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Eli Sheff
- When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships by Eli Sheff
- Use Your Words: Opening Language for Open Relationships by Stephanie K. Webb
Podcasts
- Life on the Swingset
- Loving Without Boundaries
- Multiamory
- Nope! We're Not Monogamous
- Pedestrian Polyamory
- Poly Pages
- Sex Gets Real
Dating Sites
Additional Resources
- Asking for What You Want
- Black & Poly
- Conscious Polyamory
- Dr. Eli Sheff
- Dr. Liz Powell
- Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke
- Jessica Fern
- Loving More
- Meg-John & Justin
- More Than Two
- Normalizing Non-Monogamy
- Off the Relationship Escalator
- Poly Role Models
- Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory
- Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition
- Polyamory Society
- Polyamory Today
- SoloPoly
- Velvet Lips
The Basics
- What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy?
- What Is an Open Relationship?
- What Is Polyamory?
- What is Compersion?
- Is Polyamory a Choice?
- 5 Facts about polyamory and consensual non-monogamy
- Non-Monogamy and Me
- Non-Monogamous Relationships
- Introducing the Relationship Escalator: What It Is and How to Get Off It
- Polyamorous Relationship Structures
- Polyamory: The love of many
- Types of Consensual Non-Monogamy
- Solo Poly Without Hierarchy
- From Monogamish to Relationship Anarchy: a Widening Poly Spectrum
- Understanding Consensual Nonmonogamy
FAQs & Experiences
- A therapist, a lawyer, and a sex educator answer our questions about polyamory
- Are poly and sex-positive people really "obsessed with sex"?
- Are Queer People Less Likely To Be Monogamous?
- Biggest Non-Monogamy Fails with Pup Amp, Dr. Liz, & Robin Wilson-Beattie
- My Problem With Monogamy - Comfort Instead of Happiness
- Polyamorous relationships: When three isn't a crowd
- Polyamory and Feminism
- Polyamory Made My Marriage Better—And It Might Make My Divorce Better, Too
- Sexually Transmitted Infections in Polyamorous Relationships
- Solo Polyamory: Isn’t That Just Dating?
- The Pleasure Dome: On Nonmonogamy and Casual Sex
- Why I’m Still in the Polyamory Closet
- Willow Smith Explains Why She Prefers Polyamory Over Monogamous Relationships
Problems in the Community & Help
Problems
- 5 Harmful Myths the Ethically Non-Monogamous Community Needs to Address
- 5 Problems With the One Penis Policy
- Nope! We're Not Monogamous - Episode 9: Decolonizing Polyamory & Relationship Anarchy
- Partner Abuse In Poly Communities
- Polyamory and Couple Privilege
- Polyamory Is Messy, Joyful, Not for the Faint of Heart
- Slippery language and couple-centric polyamory
- Multiamory Podcast: Privilege and Polyamory
Help
At The Intersections
Disability
- 7 Steps To Healthy Polyamory (When You Have Anxiety)
- Disability and polyamory can be complicated: here’s why.
- Duff the Psych podcast episode - Episode 113: Polyamory, Family Issues Due to Bipolar, Living with a Disability
- Here Are 7 Reasons Why Polyamory Is More Difficult When You’re Disabled
- How Polyamory Helped Me Advocate For My Needs As A Disabled Person
- I’m disabled and married – but I also date other people
- Poly and Crippled: When Your Other Partner is Your Disability
- PolyAm Radio episode 13 - Polyamory and Disability
- Polyamory Weekly podcast - PW 409: Poly and disabilities
- Ready for Polyamory podcast - Season 3 Episode 1: Polyamory, Disability & Accessibility
Race
- Five Things White People Can Do to Make Their Poly Communities More Welcoming for People of Color
- BIPOC Voices in Nonmonogamy
- Polyamory Can Be Liberating For People Of Colour, Until Racism Gets In The Way
- Multiamory Podcast: Community Diversity and Tokenism with Crystal Byrd Farmer
- Queers Next Door podcast - Episode 33 - Check Your Privilege: Racism in Polyamory
Additional Resources
General
- 5 Tips for Safely Navigating the Non-Exclusive Dating World
- 10 realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships
- Challenging Societal Expectations of Friendships & Relationships: Queerplatonic Relationships
- Multiamory Podcast: Equal and Equitable Relationships
- Multiamory Podcast: Scheduling and Productivity
- Poly Pocket: Making Relationships Up As We Go
- Relationship Anarchy Discussion Guide
- The bigger picture of polyamory
- The Most Vulnerable Part of Being Pregnant and Polyamorous
- The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy
- What healthcare professionals need to know about poly and kink
Books
If you're purchasing a book (or a few!), consider doing so through Bookshop. As an affiliate with them, I get a little kickback - at no extra cost to you. Plus, they give proceeds to locally-owned bookstores to help them survive!
- Building Open Relationships: Your hands-on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond! by Dr. Liz Powell
- This is the best book for those new to the concept with a ton of exercises to work out jealousy, rules, etc.
- Love’s Not Color Blind by Kevin Patterson
- Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
- Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
- Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
- Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships by Meg-John Barker
- Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy & secure in an open relationship by Kitty Chambless
- Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol
- Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life by Amy Gahran
- The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton
- The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola
- The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival by Kathy Labriola
- The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Eli Sheff
- When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships by Eli Sheff
- Use Your Words: Opening Language for Open Relationships by Stephanie K. Webb
Podcasts
- Life on the Swingset
- Loving Without Boundaries
- Multiamory
- Nope! We're Not Monogamous
- Pedestrian Polyamory
- Poly Pages
- Sex Gets Real
Dating Sites
Additional Resources
- Asking for What You Want
- Black & Poly
- Conscious Polyamory
- Dr. Eli Sheff
- Dr. Liz Powell
- Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke
- Jessica Fern
- Loving More
- Meg-John & Justin
- More Than Two
- Normalizing Non-Monogamy
- Off the Relationship Escalator
- Poly Role Models
- Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory
- Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition
- Polyamory Society
- Polyamory Today
- SoloPoly
- Velvet Lips