Chronic Sex

This post is sponsored by Health Labs. All content is mine, though, as usual.

It’s happened to a lot of us. You open your phone to a text from a former hookup saying, “Hey, you should probably get tested…” As a sex educator, I know those conversations are hard. How are you supposed to respond? Do you say, “Hey, thanks for the heads up” or get defensive? Do you hold space for them?

Actionably following up on these texts can be even more difficult. Where do you go? Should you see your primary doctor, or will that bring up shame? Does your local Planned Parenthood have openings anytime soon? Is there another testing option?

While these situations are difficult for any person, they often get harder for many of us. As someone who is genderfluid, queer, and disabled, I have to prepare myself for crappy interactions, especially in health care.

For one, STI clinics are notoriously inaccessible. They’re often small and crowded. Like Andrew, we may not even be able to get inside a testing location. There may be no temperature control inside. Workers there may wear too much perfume or use plug-in fragrance dispensers. People like Rachael and I – and many others – would need extra medication, transportation, and scent-proof masks to protect ourselves.

Again, like Andrew, we may encounter health care providers who are shocked that we’re having sex. This is especially true when we’ve visibly disabled or even fat. It feels like going into a losing battle when I know I have to defend myself.

On top of that, testing almost always means having to ‘come out’ in one sense or another. Providers need to know which spaces to swab and take a look at. Even though we should be able to have these conversations, they also open us up for judgments. Are these providers queer friendly? Will they judge me based on my gender expression and genitals? Do they think non-monogamy is satanic?

For those of us who live in less accepting or rural spaces, we may not have a space safe enough to go for testing. When I was growing up in Eugene, most adults in my family had the same primary care doctor. Today, the man is nearly 60 years old. He has seen each generation from my great grandparents to me when I was little.

Would I be able to trust that he wouldn’t share an STI test with gossiping gals in my family? I honestly don’t think I could.

For people who are on their parents’ or someone else’s insurance, a concern over privacy goes way deeper than for others. A statement or explanation of benefits often gets sent to the person in whose name the insuarnce is listed. If you’re a young adult whose parents don’t know you’re sexually active, you might be forced to have that conversation.

“What do I do when there’s not a good space to go?”

This is one of those moments I thank the deities for the internet.

There are tests out there you can easily order online. I don’t trust a lot of them, though, if they don’t run through proper labs.

You can always reach out to organizations such as Planned Parenthood to find clinics near you they’d endorse. You can also call around to local clinics and ask about any accessibility needs you may have. Of course, that’s not a great option for many of us who have anxiety around phone calls, but it could be a viable alternative.

Thankfully, Health Labs also has a great selection of STI-related tests! I’d recommend their Comprehensive STD Panel, unless you’re only looking for a specific STI test. You can see their offerings here.

How does it work?

Health Labs works with Quest Diagnostics and have a handy testing center locator. You can contact locations and ask about their accessibility before you pay, too, which is nice. I’d much rather know that a space traditionally uses air deoderizers that I’m allergic to than have no idea – at least I can prepare!

First, you go order your test and pay for it on the site. They don’t accept insurance which can helpful for anyone worried about an insurance issue.

Then, you simply show up at whatever location works best for you with your receipt to get your tests done. There’s no scheduling to do!

You get your test results within a couple days. You’re alerted via email that your results are in. All you have to do is log into your account to view them.

Make sure to get in touch with a health care provider for the proper treatment if you test positive for anything. Many STIs can be cleared up with a course of antibiotics! During the time you receive treatment, it’s important to take proper precautions with partners. It’s no fun to pass any infection back and forth!

Above all, remember to have conversations with recent partners if you test positive for an STI. Their consent relies on your disclosure.