Pelvic Floor Therapy: Day 1

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

B&W photo of a person with long dark hair wrapped up in a sheet and hiding their face; white text: "Pelvic Floor Therapy: Day 1" and "Chronic Sex"

Earlier this year, I made an urgent appointment with my primary care doctor. She’s also an OB/GYN, which I love. I had a spot of seborrheic keratoses on my pubis that alarmed me. I didn’t know what it was before the appointment but, in prepping for my boudoir shoot, I found this giant mole-thing.

It was kinda scary.

While I was there, though, I also brought up something I’ve been dealing with for a few months. I will wake up with pain in my pelvic region. At times, it can be throbbing, stabbing, or spasmodic. I’ll usually need to pee, but have a hard time easing up muscles to let myself pee. Afterward, the pain is still so bad that I have to get in the fetal position and shove a pillow in my abdomen.

After an invasive and dysphoria-causing transvaginal ultrasound, everything was found to be normal. Two weeks later, I reached back out to my primary care doctor to see if pelvic therapy might help. So now, in addition to spine physical therapy for a bulging disc, I get to do pelvic floor therapy.

Yay?

First appointment

Today was my first visit with my pelvic floor therapist. She is a little older and incredibly kind. I will admit, though, that I was a little nervous about the appointment.

Not only was I dealing with anxiety around having someone manipulate my vagina, but I also wound up dealing with some bowel incontinence earlier in the day.

a view of Kirsten's legs while she's on the toilet; her black boxer briefs from Tomboyx are visiable, as is a blue Ikea rug and while/beige tiles

Apparently, I’m not allowed to eat pineapple and drink juice anymore, says my GI tract.

I was worried about how this might affect things. Would we be able to do as much? Or, the more concerning question for me, was I going to just let loose everywhere?

Thankfully, I did not!

The first part of the appointment was spent talking about these spasms – when they happen, what might bring them on, etc. I mentioned my puzzling neurological stuff in addition to some rough abuse stuff I’ve been through.

It wasn’t exactly the easiest way to start a doctor-patient relationship.

Next, though, she pulled out a pelvis model and we talked through anatomy around the pelvic floor muscles.

pelvis model; the hip bones are visible along with the muscles that create the vaginal outside and the uterus poking out the top

Aside from the uterus popping out the top there, this is how a female pelvis looks. The hip bones are seen here in white with muscles in red. If you look closely, you can make out the urethra and vagina, too. One thing I always struggled to visualize was the different layers of muscles. This model comes apart so you can see the pelvic floor muscles both on the outside and inside.

The exam

It was really helpful to have a model to talk about the anatomy, but also for her to demonstrate what she was going to do with the exam.

The exam itself wasn’t horrible. I’m used to seeing my primary care doctor (who is also an OB/GYN) though, where I don’t have to make eye contact. That part got a little funky.

For those of you who haven’t had this type of therapy, the first thing is to switch from shorts to a hospital gown and lay on an exam table with a sheet over yourself. Next, the therapist feels around the outside of your pelvis – really, the outside of the labia and where it connects with your legs.

The exam moves to the inside, with the therapist using their fingers to check the muscles out. During different stages, they might ask you to clench or bulge/push out. This helps them to test the strength of your muscles.

My initial concern was that I might have loose muscles, but it’s the opposite! One thing we noticed quickly was that the left side of my pelvic floor was very tight. We then found the same at the bottom of my pelvic floor.

This isn’t super surprising. I tend to be tense in general. My left side is also the worst with every single health issue I have.

The treatment

For now, the first thing to do is start an at-home exercise. I mean, this is PT after all!

The one we decided to focus on for now is the submax:

This exercise is fitting for patients with pelvic floor tension or elevated baseline at rest. Begin at rest, contract your pelvic floor muscles gently, 70-80% effort. Hold the contraction for 5 seconds, then relax and release all tension for 5-10 seconds.

I am supposed to be mindful of my pelvic muscles, too. It’s easy to hold tension in pelvic muscles. Stress – ya know, like from begging Congress to not kill you – just makes that worse. Dealing with weakness in muscles can make them get tense trying to do their job, too.

There are some exercises that can help with pelvic floor tension as well. Right now, we’re avoiding those since I’ve got this bulging disc, but we will build up to them.

I’ll be seeing my pelvic floor therapist weekly before moving to biweekly. I’ll be documenting how things go here, too, because we need more resources on all this.

Have you ever tried pelvic floor therapy? What did you think?

Ways to Contribute to Wildfire Relief

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

a photo of two firefighters dressed up and using a fire hose to combat a large wildfire; a white box surrounds white text "Ways to Contribute to Wildfire Relief"

With hurricanes and earthquakes hitting parts of our world, many aren’t aware of the dangerous wildfires in the US. Currently, fires are ravaging Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana, and Colorado. You can get daily updates here.

I grew up in Oregon and have family all along the west coast and northwest. It’s scary to see what these fires are doing, especially with the lack of rain. Thankfully, it’s rained a bit over the last week or so. The fires rage on, though.

If you can help, please check out the following organizations and crowdfunding projects:

There are additionally fires in Canada that affected First Nations tribes like Ashcroft earlier this year.

911! Fight Against the Cassidy-Graham Plan

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

white background with red vertical lines on either side; black text "911!" and red text "Fight Against the Cassidy-Graham Plan" and black text "#savetheACA #ACAsavedmylife Not Standing Still's Disease"

I posted this earlier in the week on my other site, Not Standing Still’s Disease, but wanted to repost here.

Update: public comments are due by 9 AM Eastern Time Monday morning (25th). You can email your comments to GCHcomments@finance.senate.gov or visit willtrumpcarehurtme.com‘s email assist.

Not only do we have to fight to protect the ADA, we still have to fight for healthcare.

I’m starting to worry that this is going to be every fucking quarter, but I digress.

You can read the 141-paged plan (referred to as Cassidy-Graham, Graham-Cassidy, Graham-Cassidy-Heller, and Graham-Cassidy-Heller-Johnson) but here’s the scoop on what this bill would do:

  • Eliminates subsidies for private insurance
  • Ends Medicaid expansion
  • Caps Medicaid money, leaving millions of people uninsured
  • Allows waivers to charge sick/ill/disabled patients more (fucking high-risk pools)
  • Stops requirements on ACA-required benefits
  • Repeals tax credits for middle class
  • Puts up barriers to health insurance for low-income people (and removes subsidies)

Cassidy and others have said this block grant program would simply give money to the states for them to decide. It’s essentially shifting ACA-type stuff to states rights type stuff, acting as though states could then keep ACA programs in place. Without the support at the federal level – and with a large number of anti-ACA governors – this won’t be the case.

One scary thing to note is that the Congressional Budget Office won’t have enough time to evaluate the bill before September 30th. This is the last day this bill could be passed with 50 votes (or 51 with VPence). Otherwise, filibuster could prevent the bill from being passed.

Graham-Cassidy-Heller (ACA Repeal) Simple Summary - Repeal and Replace is back. Take it seriously. Here's what it does: *Estimated 32 million will lose coverage within 10 years (not yet scored) *Ends Medicaid expansion. Health care for 11 million low-income adults. *Ends all subsidies for the exchange, replaced by a smaller and declining "block grant" *Block grant doesn't have to be spent on same population *Cuts coverage for low income seniors, children and people w disabilities by 7% by 2026 with a "per capita cap" (Yes, that's right -- a block grant AND a Lee capita cap) *Ends Federal protections on pre-existing conditions, life time caps and essential benefits. 50% of states expected to do so. *Ends all cost sharing payments to low income Americans *Ends all funding for coverage by 2026; 100% afterwards *Averages would be dramatically different: 20 states estimated to lose 35-60% of funding to move money to rural, red states *CBO has not estimated impact on premiums, but likely 20% spike next year *Would likely be presented to the House as "take it or leave it" if passes Senate *Provide no funding for recessions, natural disasters, public health emergencies, or price spikes *Targets women's health/family planning *Uses the same "50 votes" only partisan technique to pass; upends all bipartisan progress of the last two weeks - Source: Centers for Budget and Policy, prior estimates
Source: Andy Slavitt’s Twitter; see alt-text for description

This is a more radical version of repeal-and-replace efforts so far.

I’m tired of fighting, so I’m sure you are, too. If we don’t fight this one, though, we lose any progress we’ve made up to now.

What to do now:

  • Contact your Senators (especially if you live in South Carolina, Louisiana, Nevada, or Wisconsin)
  • Protest and picket (if able)
  • Get loud on social media
  • Send letters to the editors or reach out to your local news to explain your concerns

Some organizations opposed to this bill:

  • AARP
  • Adult Congenital Heart Association
  • ALS Association
  • Alzheimer’s Association
  • America’s Essential Hospitals
  • America’s Health Insurance Plans
  • American Academy of Family Physicians
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
  • American Cancer Society Action Network
  • American College of Physicians
  • American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
  • American Diabetes Association
  • American Foundation for the Blind
  • American Heart Association
  • American Hospital Association
  • American Lung Association
  • American Medical Association
  • American Nurses Association
  • American Osteopathic Association
  • American Psychiatric Association
  • American Psychological Association
  • American Speech-Language-Hearing Association
  • Amputee Coalition
  • Arthritis Foundation
  • Association of American Medical Colleges
  • Autistic Self-Advocacy Network
  • Blue Cross Blue Shield Association
  • Center for Medicare Advocacy
  • Children’s Hospital Association
  • COPD Foundation
  • Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
  • Family Voices
  • Federation of American Hospitals
  • Infectious Diseases Society of America
  • JDRF
  • Los Angeles LGBT Center
  • Lutheran Services America
  • March of Dimes
  • Nationa Association of Medicaid Directors
  • National Health Council
  • National Institute for Reproductive Health
  • National Multiple Sclerosis Society
  • National Organization for Rare Diseases
  • Planned Parenthood
  • Public Health Institute
  • Robert Wood Johnson Foundation
  • Volunteers of America
  • WomenHeart

Further reading:

Updated Sept 24

Ways to Help with Earthquake Relief

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

teal and yellow background with a photo of a pristine beach; under is a black text box with white text "Ways to Help with Earthquake Relief" and teal text "chronic sex"

I know that so many of us have been focused on recovery post-hurricanes. Right now, though, Mexico also needs our help.

On September 7th, an 8.1 magnitude earthquake ripped through Chiapas and Oaxaca. On the 19th, a 7.1 magnitude quake shook areas near Mexico City – and affected areas already hit on the 7th.

Brigada de Rescate Topos (website currently down) goes into fallen buildings to help get people – dead or alive – out. You can send them money via PayPal using the email donativos@brigada-rescate-topos.org.

You can buy goods from Amazon for the Mexican Red Cross’ wishlist.

Project Paz, a non-profit with roots in NYC and El Paso, TX, is collecting donations to help with recovery efforts.

Direct Relief is working in the area.

Salma Hayek is raising money for UNICEF’s relief efforts.

You can donate through GoFundMe campaigns or YouCaring, too. Some notable campaigns:

I realize the featured photo looks so happy. I got to visit Mexico earlier this year and took this beautiful photo right before leaving. My family has always had strong ties to Mexico, and these earthquakes break my heart.

Updated September 22

Flogging Ended My Year-Long Fibro Flare #KinkySexTips

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

a photo of a flogger (mixed medium of fluffy pink-purple and black leather) curled up against a grey couch; text "Flogging Ended My Year-Long Fibro Flare #KinkySexTips"

I’ve always been intrigued by BDSM and kink. I recently wrote a post about how the scene can bring useful things to anyone, especially in illness spaces. Naturally, when I attended the University of Guelph Sexuality Conference back in June, I hung out in their BDSM exploratorium.

The exploratorium was a very safe and respectful space, open to newbies and advanced kinksters to learn more about various kinds of play. It was great to be able to test out things, figure out what I was interested in, and talk with others about how my chronic pain might change things up.

I tried low-temp wax play and decided it wasn’t for me. Next, I had the same reaction with electrical play/e-stim, though I think that’s because of how much I utilize my TENS unit. I watched some rope play and hands-only impact play (punching, spanking, etc). Both were interesting to observe and I definitely want to do more with rope play in the future.

One station was set up for sensation play. It was so interesting. Scratchy, soft, leather, rough, hard, hands – we played with a wide variety of sensations on my forearms. Aside from being pleasurable, it was cool to be so present in my body for a positive reason.

The station I enjoyed the most was set up for impact play using instruments like floggers and paddles. My first go in the room, I spent time watching and observing. The second time, though, I offered to be a tester.

I got hit with a paddle, whip, flogger, and canes. During the negotiation process, I agreed to be hit just about anywhere, but the focus was on my back, butt, hips, and thighs. I had a few good bruises that lasted for a few weeks.

At one point, the person flogging me heard me go “Oooh!” My favorite thing is that they checked in, as did others watching, to make sure that was a good reaction – and it was.

After the event was over, I noticed that my pain was gone. I figured it would come back later in the day… but it didn’t. Now, I live with chronic pain, so it’s not that I was completely pain-free. However, the pain in my shoulders and neck was gone. It stayed that way for about a week despite a 15-hour drive back home.

Even after, though, my fibromyalgia pain was gone. I had been dealing with a fibro flare up for around a year – probably more – and it was finally gone. My rheumatologist and I had tried a bunch of stuff to get it to leave, but everything was basically a temporary solution.

Kirsten (short dark hair and black top) looks at a poster in a doctor office of the human anatomy/muscular system

Hell, even acupuncture – which worked at first – had lost efficacy.

It’s been just over two months since then. Despite the fact that I’m struggling to get adequate pain control and medical care for other things, my fibro is still cleared up. I have moments where it acts up more, but without a full flare – and mostly without the allodynia that was taking over my life.

I mentioned it to my rheumatologist at our latest appointment and she was ecstatic. When I told her how, she was really intrigued. We believe that, somehow, the BDSM play helped to rejigger the pain messages my body was sending. Researchers believe that mixed up pain signals are what fibro essentially is, after all.

In fact, ORCHIDS is going to do some research on BDSM and chronic pain to see what we can find! Stay tuned!

I can’t say that this will work for other people. What I can say is that I wish I had tried it a lot sooner instead of dealing with untreated pain.

If you’re interested in exploring BDSM tools more, I highly suggest checking out the collection Peepshow Toys has. SheVibe has some great stuff, too. In addition to being affiliates of ours, their shops are also just amazing.

This post is a part of the Kinky Sex Tips Blogfest ’17 run by Mona Darling. Mona is a former dominatrix who does sexual coaching for women. Make sure you check out her site because she’s running an amazing giveaway associated with these posts right now that includes coaching and great gifts!

a black-outlined square picture with white background features colorful icons in a circle that one would associate with kinky sex (floggers, masks, handcuffs, toys, etc) with a black outlined box just below middle-right of circle with black text "Kinky sex tips blogfest 2017"

Ways to Contribute to Hurricane Relief

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

photo of a white-passing person's hand holding a pencil against a blank piece of white paper; a brown box is at left middle with white text: "Ways to Contribute to To Hurricane Relief" and "Chronic Sex"

One of my favorite companies, Good Clean Love, is donating part of their sales this month to help Hurricane Harvey survivors:

Good Clean Love is doubling our monthly donation cycle to offer 20% of all our web sales for the months of August and September to help bring food, clothing and hope to those who have lost everything. We are also going to send hundreds of bottles of Balance Wash, and maybe some lube too.

I highly recommend their CaraGold lube with CBD oil in it. You can check out my review here.

Other ways you can help Houston survivors:

Florida (some overlap with above):

Puerto Rico:

People often forget other countries hit by these hurricanes. Let’s not do that.

What you want to do is focus on donating to local charities or those doing grassroots work. The American Red Cross, for instance, does not give the money they receive, either directly or through in-kind donations, to the actual people in need. They’ve even messed up so far for Harvey relief. Likewise, fundraisers on Facebook use a company called Network For Good – which can take months to give the money to the organizations. Other versions of the Red Cross are okay to donate to from what I’ve read.

Last updated Sept 27

Help a Sex Blogger Rebuild from Harvey

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Vikki wears a leotard with a ruffly off-shoulder top - she has a pinkish bow in her hair and is also wearing black heels; she is in front of a building with colorful paintings; a purple box has yellow text on top "Help a Sex Blogger Rebuild from Harvey"

Earlier this summer, I stumbled upon Victoria. She blogs at Pretty Pink Lotus Bud. Despite being newer on the scene, she has hosted the Summer 100 Blog Challenge. This helped to bring sex bloggers together in a way where we can talk about rates, issues, blogging, and more.

I didn’t manage my 100 posts over the summer here but have enjoyed taking part.

She’s working so hard to create change and was starting to take off. Then Hurricane Harvey hit. Needless to say, she’s lost so much over the last few weeks.

In order to help Vikki get back on her feet, the amazing Dangerous Lilly has set up a YouCaring page. If you are a sex blogger, educator, or in the industry and donate $25+, both Lilly and Ducky Doolittle will set up a link to your site.

Regardless, Vikki – a single mom with three kids – needs help. Please donate if you can, and share.

Help Tell the World: #PatientsHavePower

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Clara Health logo with black text underneath "#PatientsHavePower"

I am proud to announce that we are official participants in the Patients Have Power campaign run by Clara Health (who runs the Breakthrough Crew!).

This campaign is a Boston based initiative aligning the world’s epicenter of healthcare around one message: Patients Have Power. The movement is comprised of patients, caregivers, allies, nurses, doctors, researchers, members of the healthcare workforce and anyone and everyone who believes in patient power all around the world.

I believe patients should be empowered with the knowledge and resources they need to hold the ultimate power in their healthcare journey and are proud to say that we live the mantra: Patients Have Power.

Interested in getting involved? Show your support by participating in the following:

Declare your support: Join our #PatientsHavePower campaign on Twitter. Click to tweet.

Join the Thunder: Add your voice on Thunderclap to help the message spread! Register here.

Twitter Chat: Join the #PatientsHavePower chat on Thursday, September 7 at 3:00 PM EST.

Patients Have Power Signs: On Thursday, September 7 take a picture of yourself holding up a Patients Have Power sign and share on social media.

Nice cream social & card making: Swing by Mother Juice Kendall Square on Thursday, September 7 between 12:00 and 5:00 PM for vegan ice cream and card making for hospital patients. RSVP here.

What BDSM Can Teach The Chronic Illness Community

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

beige block on left side of square and right side has a photo of a feminine person with a black mask over their eyes and they are sticking their left pointer finger in their mouth, showing off their tongue and simple band on ring finger; on left, beige text in various black text boxes: "What BDSM Can Teach The Chronic Illness Community"; black text at middle "chronic sex"

BDSM (Bondage/Discipline and Dominance/Submission and Sadism/Masochism) winds up being very misunderstood.

People who don’t quite understand the whole scene think all sorts of things about those who are into it – it involves abuse, etc. Even health care professionals don’t get it, except some really great ones.

One of the things that many don’t know is how central consent is to the scene.

A LOT of conversation happens around these issues. People discuss sensations, actions, inactions, words, and more. Aftercare, which I’ll touch on later, is also discussed. These negotiations can take a few hours or a few minutes, depending on familiarity with each other, the scene, and other factors. It’s almost always longer when people first start playing together, though.

Checklists to go over what might be on your yes/no/maybe list are plenty and you can check out an example here.

Code words

Code words or safe words are something people usually know about BDSM. A safe word is a way to stop a scene/playtime. This can have varying stages, which is why I’ve written code words here.

You have words that can completely stop and mean we move right to aftercare. You may have words that ask for things to stop and for a check-in. You might also have words that signal you’re having a damn good time. It all depends on the negotiation process and those involved.

I use code words/phrases all the time. In fact, a lot of us do but don’t always call them that. We may say we are out of some unit of energy or running low on battery. When I was able to hike, the hubs and I came up with a term that would signal I needed to turn back. Since we’re history nerds, we used ‘bingo fuel’ which was the point where pilots only had enough fuel to get back to base and needed to turn around.

Even something as simple as saying “It needs to be a pizza night because I can’t cook right now” can be a code phrase.

Aftercare

BDSM can be very emotional, not unlike how some of the chronic illness/disability sexual experiences. Aftercare is a must.

It looks different for everyone but can include treating potential wounds, tea, snuggling, a check-in call the next day, and more.

Interested in learning more?

If you would like to explore what kinks may be right for you, you can take this test or check out the checklist I mentioned above. Before you get into the scene, you may want to check in with education-based sex shops in your area to see if they know of any events or classes. You can create an account on Fetlife to see what might be happening in your area as well.

I highly suggest reading more about BDSM before you get involved, though. It can be really great. Additionally, you may want to visit Lady Sophia, a dominatrix and sex educator in Chicago, who offers classes on various aspects of BDSM.

Awareness Calendar for September

Posted on by Grayson Schultz

Month:

  • Alzheimer’s
  • Atrial Fibrillation
  • Blood Cancer
  • Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease
  • Childhood Cancer
  • Guide Dogs!
  • Gynecological Cancer
  • Healthy Aging
  • ITP (immune thrombocytopenia)
  • Menopause
  • Ovarian Cancer
  • Pain
  • Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
  • Prostate Cancer
  • Rheumatic Disease
  • Self-Awareness
  • Self-Improvement
  • Sepsis
  • Sexual Health
  • Sickle Cell
  • Traumatic Brain Injury
  • Yoga

Days/weeks:

  • World Sexual Health Day (4)
  • World Suicide Prevention Day (10)
  • National Suicide Prevention Week (10-16)
  • Celiac Awareness Day (13)
  • Global Female Condom Day (16)
  • Usher Syndrome Awareness Day (16)
  • National HIV/AIDS & Aging Day (18)
  • RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Day (21)
  • Bisexual Pride Day (23)
  • National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (27)
  • Global Day of Action for Access to Safe and Legal Abortion (28)
  • World Heart Day (29)